EXCUSES DON'T BURN CALORIES

I lied!!

2012-01-27T11:25:00.003-06:00

I stated in my last couple of post that I would be blogging on a regular basis, well....that doesnt' seem to be the case. I suppose I will just pop in here when I feel like I have a few extra minutes that should be taken up by blogging.

So you know I was going to zumba and I was loving it!!! I haven't been back I dont' think since I posted about it. Which I think was about 2 1/2 to 3 weeks ago. Oops! As much as I loved it is difficult for me to get away in the evenings even if it is just 2 days a week. I can do it but not on a regular basis as things come up and such that I want or need to tend to after work. Plus, since I work full time I obviuosly like spending time with my kiddos and husband and that has to be done in the evening after I get to them at 5:30. So I do intend to go back to a class but I just don't know when at this point. It was so much fun and a great workout and I highly recommend it.

Right now I am trying to decide on if I should/want to commit to a rather large fitness event/goal. I have my thinking cap on right now and am going to talk to my husband about it this weekend. I will get back with you and let you know if I move forward with it or if I shift gears and do something else.

Have a great upcoming weekend. It is in the 50's here and the sun has been shining. It is BEAUTIFUL for January. I am loving it.

Exercise!

2012-01-06T12:18:00.004-06:00

WHOA!! Two days in a row of blogging, shocker, I know.

Exercise has NOT been my strength the past 7 months. I have exercised randomly here and there but I am not even certain that I have done two exercise sessions in a week until NOW!!

I keep coming up with 100's of excuses, a few legitimate but most are not. I simply cannot seem to get in the groove. I have been thinking if I could do some type of exercise that was fun and didn't seem so much like exercise that might help me get back in the habit.

I have been wanting to try Zumba, well finally I was able to. A friend invited me to a class that she recently tried, she raved and raved about how much fun it was and what a good workout it was. They actually had it at a time that I could make it last night. The husband stayed with the kids and got them to bed and I went to get my dance/booty shake on.

Let me tell you this was some fun booty shaking sweat session. Some of the people there are really good at it and it was so much fun to watch them. I on the other hand don't think my top half is seperated from my bottom half and I was watching them wondering how in the heck they do that. I also left with the feeling that I wanted to get much better at this workout/dancing and I absolutely LOVED IT! I will be back.

It did not seem like exercise at all. It was tons of fun, I felt comfortable there and I can't wait to try it again.

In fact I have plans to go back on Monday night at 6:45. WOOT! Can't wait.

Oh and back to the top where I said I finally exercised twice in one week, so I did the Zumba class last night and then on Monday when I was off work the husband, Chloe and I alternated between the bike, eliptical and treadmill for 30 minutes. GO US!

Have a great weekend friends and before I go I must say WOO PIG SOOIE! GO HOGS GO! The Arkansas Razorbacks play the Kansas State Wildcats tonight in the Cotton Bowl in Arlington at the Dallas Cowboys Stadium. 7pm. Can't wait!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

2012-01-05T15:28:00.003-06:00

STOP THE PRESS! It is me (Dawn) and I am actually blogging. I think I might get this thing up and running again on a somewhat regular basis.

As I have said many times in the past, I hate how times goes by too fast. My youngest daughter, Harlie, is already approaching 8 months old!!! Yes, I said EIGHT MONTHS OLD!!! Lizzie will be FIVE in a few months and Chloe is 7 1/2. She is half way through her 1st grade year at a new school and loving it. J is doing great and has switched paths slightly and is an elementary P.E. teacher and no longer a coach at a jr. high. We see him a LOT more now and we love it.

As for me and my weight and exercise plan, the whole reason I started this blog in the very begininng, I have learned that I am queen of MAINTENANCE!! Which is actually a good thing only if I were already at my goal weight. I weigh the same today that I weighed 6 weeks after having Harlie. I have lost and gained the same 5 pounds for the past 7 months. GO FIGURE!

I have hardly exercised, randomly here and there. I have cleaned up my eating a lot but I do great for a few weeks then I do average for a week or two then I have several days that I just do awful and with that lack of consistency that equals maintenance!

So here is to a new year and a new fresh start. This time I mean it. My goal at this point is small, just to drop 5 pounds. Then I will set another mini-goal. The big picture is a little too overwhelming at the moment.

I promise to post more frequently for those that care to follow me and I also promise to post a recent picture of my precious girls as soon as I download them.

Hope all of you are doing well and are ready to meet your goals whatever they may be in 2012!
Dawn

TurboKick!

2011-09-20T15:44:00.002-05:00

This pos -third baby body is in much needs of some intense exercse and at home I just haven't been making it happen. I decided that I needed a kick in the pants from a group exercise class instructor. There are zumba/turbokick classes in my town and I am going to try it for the first time tonight. I CAN'T WAIT!!!! Turbokick is up tonight at 5:30 so I am going with that for my first class. Then Saturday I hope to try the Zumba class.

I will let you know what I thin of it.

I have a feeling I am going to be SO SORE tomorrow as I have not done anything like I believe this class to be in about 1 year. NO PAIN NO GAIN!

TurboKick should be something like this from Chalene Johnson.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ycnrejqXqpA&feature=player_embedded

I was trying to get the video embeded in here but I couldn't figure it out. Just go to this link if you want to check it ou.

2011-09-16T13:35:00.007-05:00

WHOA! It has been FOREVER since I blogged. This is a testament as to just how busy I am that I have not had much downtime at all to even update my blog at least once a week like I had been doing. Life is GREAT for us and Harlie is now 4 months old. Crazy, huh?

We are SO BUSY but ENJOYING every minute of it. I really wish I could freeze time for a few weeks at least. Harlie is just precious, the girls just adore her and J and I are doing fabulous. Things do get hectic and there is very little down time, if I have down time it is me sitting down holding Harlie and cherishing every moment of it. I have not even minded the times I have to get up with her in the middle of the night b/c I just love holding her. Now, it does make me tired but this too shall pass and I am making it just fine.

Chloe is about to turn SEVEN!! We really can't believe that. She is becoming so grown up. Lizzie is 4 1/2 and just as sassy and funny as ever.

As for me I am doing well. Not much happening on the weight loss front but that is about to change. I have lost and gained the same 5 pounds for the last 12 weeks since I have been making what I thought was an attempt to lose weight. I lose a few pounds then I gain part of it back then I lose it again then gain it back. What a vicious cycle. I am hopefull that now I will continue the downward trend though. Just tightening up the eating mostly. I haven't been exercising regularly at all and my goal is a consistent 3 days a week doing something at least for 20 minutes for now. I think I need to start blogging consistently for some accountability.

I will leave you with a precious picture of Harlie and then one of all of the girls. I just want to SQUEEZE them I love them so much!

The girls at the County Fair, they show pigs and this was in between shows which is why you see the pigs in the background.

Yes, she smiles like this ALL of the time. She is one of the happiest most laid back babies I have ever been around.

Do you need some fat loss inspiration?

2011-05-21T10:48:00.003-05:00

Check out this blog that I happened upon!!!

She reached a HUGE milestone of losing over 100 pounds. Plus, she did it a several days before she set her goal for. Nothing like reaching a huge goal EARLY!! She is still working at it but DANG, look how far she has come. No doubt she will continue on her journey and get to her final goal.

click here:
Just love stories like this.

SHE'S HERE!!! Pics and labor story.

2011-05-17T11:09:00.006-05:00

Harlie Dawn born Monday, May 9th at 5:30 PM. 7 pounds 15 oz. 19 3/4 inches long.

My due date was Wednesday, May 4th. That day came and went. I was still hopeful that she would come on her own before my Dr. had me set an induction date of Tuesday, May 10th. I had a Dr. appt. scheduled for Monday, May 9th at 11:45.

Saturday morning, May 7th around 1AM I started having contractions and they got to be every 30 minutes for several hours then during the day on Sunday they eased up a bit but I still had them periodically. I went to bed Sunday night and had them all night long. They started at 45 minutes a part then went to 30 then got as close as 12 minutes a part but never closer than that. I endured them all night long though. I called my Dr. Monday morning to see if I could come in early to have him check me. I went in at 9:30. Got in to see him at 10 and he informed that I had dilated t0 4cm!!!! YAY!!! I was THRILLED!!!! I had started labor on my own so it was time for him to check me in. If you are 4cm they will admit you.

I started out in the ER triage room for a bit then around noon they put me in a room. Luckily, my contractions had eased up a bit from 9-1. I was glad b/c I had endured so many for the previous 36 hours that I was ready for the contraction break.

Around 1:45 they gave me an epidural. Then around 2:15ish they broke my water then they started giving me pitocin to start up my contractions again. I started progressing again and contractions continued to get closer and closer together and at 5:25 I was at a 10 and ready to push. I pushed for 5 minutes and she was OUT!!! YAY!!!! She did have the umbilical cord around her neck twice and the Dr. had to cut it so J wasn't able to but that was fine. The cord just got around her neck as she started to come out so she was a little blue at first but quickly got her breath and was fine.

The best part is that I did not tear nor did they have to cut me. I have NO STITCHES!!! It is WONDERFUL!!!

I have of course had after pains in my abdomen, some very strong but it is getting better now from my uterus but no other discomfort.

This time around again my milk didn't come in. Long story actually but I didn't get it with either of the other two so I assumed it wouldn't come in this time either. I am actually glad about it, I always planned on formula feeding anyway and I don't have to endure the milk coming in or drying up process.

So that is how it all went down. I couldn't have scripted it any better. It went just as I had hoped.

Harlie is very healthy and her sisters are so IN LOVE!!! They can't get enough of her. We hold her all we want and love on her and talk to her. She is so sweet! We are truly blessed!!!

40 weeks and 1 day pregnant!! Belly pic!

2011-05-05T15:03:00.003-05:00

Yes, I AM STILL PREGNANT and doing pretty well for the most part. Just waiting as patiently as possible for her to arrive when she is good and ready. My Dr. prefers that I not go over a week past my due date so I do have an appt. next Tuesday morning to be induced if necessary.

Although, I am still very hopeful (optimistic) that she will come no her own before then as both of my other children came on their own with no problems and I had relatively easy/smooth deliveries. Either way though she will be here between now and Tuesday so I see the light at the end of the tunnell and it looks good.

Here is a picture of my 40 week belly.

May 1st! Three days until the due date!

2011-05-01T14:49:00.002-05:00

My due date is in three days on Wednesday, May 4th. I am just like every other pregnant person out there that ever lived and I am hoping that she comes BEFORE the due date. No pregnant person wants to make it to that dreaded 40 week appt. and still be pregnant. I went past my due date with Chloe, 4 days past. I went 3 days before my due date with Lizzie and that was nice. I was hoping that since this was my 3rd that I might go even earlier than with Lizzie. Of course I haven't made it to the due date just yet so I am still holding out hope. We are just so ready to see her and start getting adjusted to our new life with three little girls.

I am feeling pretty good for the most part considering I am approaching 40 weeks. I could be a lot worse. I have also been sleeping really well the past few nights which seems odd to me and I have had a lot of energy and I got a lot of stuff done at work on Friday and then a lot of stuff done at home on Saturday. I even made it up for early church then Sunday school this morning so that was actually nice to get up and get around.

I have had a few contatractions over the weekend but nothing regular at all. I will be sure to keep you updated on how things move along. Pray for an easy and smooth delivery that ends up with a very healthy baby.

39 weeks and SERIOUSLY COUNTING!!!

2011-04-27T10:34:00.003-05:00

I have made it to the 39 week mark as of today (Wednesday, April 27th). I AM SO READY for her to get here. We all are. Dad and sisters want to meet her NOW!!

Not that we want her to grow up fast by any means but we are ready to see what she looks like and then just get underway with our new normal with having 3 kids. We are aware that it will be an adjustment and we are ready to get that part over with.

According to my Dr. I have only dilated a fingertip which I suppose might be a centimeter and then thinned out about 40%. I didnt' feel well this past weekend and was having more contractions although not real painful ones as well as some shooting pains down low. I was hoping this was moving me along a bit but no such luck. When I was pregnant with my 2nd daughter, Lizzie, I went for my 39 week appt. and then 4 days later I had her so I am praying that is the case with this one. I hadn't progressed any at all with Lizzie at that 39 week appt. either.

I am going to get on that TM tonight and do that for 15-20 minutes at least in the hopes that it might get her moving.

She will be here, it is just a matter of time now, the big question is WHEN!

37 weeks. GETTING CLOSE!!!!

2011-04-12T13:42:00.003-05:00

I am now 37 weeks along and making some slow progress according to the Dr. Headed in the right direction he says. YAY!!! I will take it. Both of my other girls were born relatively close to their due date so I assume this one will come then too but time will tell. No major complaints, still feeling well for the most part considering I am getting closer day by day. Harlie's room is ready to go. Still working on organizing the garage turned play room area but it is coming together just trying to find some places for stuff that we have had to move around and shuffle. We do still need to get the pack-n-play, swing and bouncy seat out of the attic and get those things cleaned and ready to go. That is on the agenda for tonight. I'll do my best to keep you posted as I move along and have this sweet baby girl. We can't wait to meet her!

35 weeks!

2011-03-30T12:50:00.002-05:00

Sorry so long between updates. I am now 35 weeks. I am doing pretty good for the most part considering my stage in this pregnancy. I have been struggling with sleep some and that affects me in every way but I have slept good the past two nights to that helps TONS!!!

Harlie is moving around like crazy and at lunch today she kicked or punched or something so hard that it made me jump and then laugh wondering what in the world she is doing in there. She is a busy mover for sure but hasn't done that to me before until now. Maybe she wants OUT!

We had my brother-in-law's and now SIL's wedding was on March 19th and it went GREAT!! My girls were the flower girls and my husband was the best man. Then on Sunday the 20th we had my parents 50th wedding anniversary party and that turned out wonderful. We had so many people show up to visit with my parents. Mostly people that they don't see on a regular basis but have been friends with for many years.

My youngest daughter, Lizzie, turns FOUR this coming Friday, April 1st. I CANNOT BELIEVE IT!!! She is SO EXCITED!!! She grins from ear to ear whenever you mention it to her.

So lots of stuff going on in our world and still even more exciting things to come.

I leave you with a family picture of us at the wedding.

Belly pics. 33 weeks!!!!

2011-03-14T19:20:00.006-05:00

Finally, some updated belly pics. A couple of bare belly pics too. 33 weeks along. 7 weeksish left to go. Can't believe it. I am doing really well. Feeling great for the most part except for the usual pregnancy uncomfortableness.

I am really enjoying being pregnant and taking it all in. Feeling a lot of emotion b/c this is it for me. My last pregnancy. My last child. So exciting and a little sad at the same time. It makes me tear up and smile at the same time when I think about it. I feel great about the fact of having three children. This was the decision J and I made before we were married and we both agreed with it and we still feel strong about our decision. We feel so blessed to be given the gift of having our own children so easily especially. So with that being said here is to the next 7 weeks until we meet our sweet baby girl, Harlie.

7 1/2 weeks left. THAT'S IT!!!

2011-03-13T12:14:00.002-05:00

The days are VERY QUICKLY going by. We still have a lot to get done but for some reason I am not worried about it. I know it will get done and if not then after she comes it will get done. Just trying to enjoy my last few weeks of being pregnant ever and the last few weeks of having just Chloe and Lizzie in our life.

We have a BIG weekend coming up next weekend with my BIL and future SIL getting married this is the husbands middle brother. Both girls are flower girls and then J is a best man along with the other younger brother. So we have events Friday night with rehearsal and dinner then hair done and pictures and wedding and reception on Saturday. Sunday we will be celebrating my parents 50th wedding anniversary. Talk about impressive!! There actual 50th anniversary is on April 7th. Just getting this party in a few weeks early. Looking forward to a lot of friends and family coming out to visit with them.

I still have not taken any pictures of my belly recently. I am having camera issues and it is not working. I can borrow my Mom's but have to remember to get it when I see her. I hope to post something soon though so you can all see my growing belly. I am so mesmerized by pregnant bellies, even my own. I just don't see how they stretch out that much and to think there is a small human in there. BLOWS MY MIND!

9 weeks AND COUNTING!!!

2011-03-02T13:44:00.002-06:00

I swear I will post a picture soon. I just have not gotten around to taking one recently. I will though. I do think pregnant bellies are just the coolest things so I need to get to documenting mine regularly, especially these last few weeks when it really grows.

I am hanging in there and growing by the day. I do feel well for the most part and I have another good pregnancy like I have had with the last two but there is no denying that you just get SO UNCOMFORTABLE as time goes on. It is all worth it but it is still uncomfortable. I do enjoy all of the moving around and kicking she is doing. That is just priceless!!!

I have my 32 week check up next Tuesday then I will go every 2 weeks for 2 times then it will be weekly appointments. WHOA!!!! It really is getting close. I need to accept it. As much as I want her to be here a little part of me wishes time would slow down. Still so much to do with work and getting her room ready and big family events coming up like my BIL's wedding and my parents 50th wedding anniversary and Lizzie's 4th birthday. Now those things will make the month of March fly by.

ok, the next time I post will be a picture of my pregnant and growing belly!

The TRUE countdown begins...

2011-02-25T13:31:00.003-06:00

I am LESS THAN 10 weeks away from seeing my sweet baby girl, Harlie!!! Although, it really is going by fast it just can't get here fast enough. I AM READY!!!

I am still feeling pretty good for the most part. No matter how good of a pregnancy you have you can't help but be rather uncomfortable when you get up in the weeks of pregnancy. Your belly is big, your back hurts, you have congestion constantly, you have to pee often and suddenly, you can't get comfortable when you sleep, you lose your breath with simple task, getting dressed is just a production sometimes then putting on your shoes. UGH!! The list goes on. Obviously, the outcome is worth every bit of being uncomfortable it just feels good to vent and let it out every now and then which is exactly what I did. Thank you for listening.

Big sisters are just SO EXCITED for Harlie's arrival. They can't wait to see her. I can't wait to see the looks on their faces when they do see her for the first time and I can't wait to see what they have to say to her. Lizzie looks at my belly and hugs or kisses it and says "Hi" and "Bye" to baby Harlie daily. It is the most precious thing you have heard.

I promise to post a pic soon. I just haven't taken the time to take one recently or had my husband take one of me. I promise to get on that though.

Bachelor and 29 weeks!

2011-02-16T16:03:00.007-06:00

Who is watching the Bachelor? I am really enjoying this season. I started out a very faithful Bachelor watcher years ago with season 1 then after several season I faded my loyalty b/c I just got annoyed with all of the girls. I didn't watch it the season that Brad didn't choose anyone but heard about it of course. I didn't think it was that big of a deal really, I mean if you aren't in love then my no means should you propose to someone even if that is what the show is about. Why propose if you are going to break up a week later. Anyway, that is just my opinion. So a couple of seasons ago I got back into it and I can't miss it now. LOVE IT!! SO ENTERTAINING! Plus, Brad is some NICE EYE CANDY if you ask me. Man, he is HOT!!

Welcome to the Brad gallery:

So so thankful he got rid of Michelle, I was not a fan at all. I really like all of the 4 remianing girls but I am just not in love with or overjoyed with any of them. Any way he goes I will be pleased with the outcome.

I am 29 weeks pregnant ya'll. YAY!!! It is moving right along. It is hard to believe that in 11 short weeks I will meet my precious sweet girl, Harlie. I can't wait to see her face!!! The girls are still just so excited. We talk about her all of the time and wonder what she will look like. As Lizzie says "she will look like us." She is probably right.

Although I am feeling pretty well over all I am for sure feeling VERY PREGNANT and sleeping sucks and my congestion is getting worse. Taking some over the counter meds right now and plan to break out the neti-pot tonight. I'm pregnant, I gotta vent, I am playing the "pregnancy card" as long as I can.

SNOW and LOTS of it!!!

2011-02-09T10:30:00.002-06:00

WOW!!! You guys should see this snow we are getting right now. It has been snowing since a little before 2AM really hard and we now have about 14-15 inches at my house. IT IS CRAZY!!!! It is piling up SO FAST!!! All schools and a lot of businesses are closed today.

There is an area 45 minutes north of where I live that has 24 inches of snow!!!

Last week on Tuesday we got some ice and about 4-5 inches of snow and that was still on the ground b/c it was so cold and hadn't melted yet. The roads had cleaered up some but now NOT SO MUCH!!

I am in such AWE. We don't get a huge snow storm like this very often. I am LOVING IT!!!

Oh, and I amm 28 weeks pregnant. YAY!!! Only 12 weeks left. I had a Dr. appt. yesterday and all is well just moving right along. Heartbeat is strong, measuring right on track and blood pressure is really good.

ok, going to sit here and watch it snow some more.

26 weeks!

2011-01-26T22:01:00.002-06:00

I am now 26 weeks pregnant. Only 14 weeks left. I just can't believe it. I am doing pretty well for the most part. No major complaints. Just the usual not sleeping well, can't sit or stand for a very long time, takes effort to do a lot of things it seems which must be from my crunched up lungs and not as much capacity in them.

On a really good note though I am exercising and trying to keep it as consistent as possible. I have exercised periodically over the last 26 weeks. Some weeks I get in 3-4 days and some weeks none. This week I have gotten in 2 days. Mostly treadmill walking and elliptical.

Compliments of "Santa" we went to see Jason Aldean, Eric Church and the Jane Dear girls in concert this past weekend. The concert was GREAT!!! We all loved it. Especially, Chloe. Lizzie loved the first two acts then she got tired but she was manageable through Jason Aldean and we were able to stay the entire time. We even got an autograph from the Jane Dear girls and the girls got a picture with them. They were so sweet to them. I will post a few pictures from the concert later.

25 weeks already!!!!

2011-01-18T16:38:00.003-06:00

WHOA!!! As of tomorrow (Wednesday) I will be 25 weeks pregnant. Which means I ONLY have 15 weeks left. I can hardly believe it. The first 12 weeks seemed to drag and now it is flying by.

We have SO MUCH to get done and so little time. The Husband and I have got to get on the ball. For starters we are turning our garage into a living area.

To do list:

- finish painting and slightly move out building so that it is straight
- start filling out building with stuff from the garage
- sale or get rid of remainder of stuff in the garage that we don't need
- put in insulation and build wall in garage along garage door
- paint garage
- move exercise equipment and toys from spare bedroom into garage and figure out some sort of organized system for the toys.
- paint babies room, a light green color I think
- put up baby bed and get out all of the clothes from the other two girls and wash them and get them in the chest of drawers ready to go.
- start stocking up on diapers and wipes. I have clothes and blankets and such, not too worried about that stuff.
- Move chair out of our room into new living area in garage so we will have room for pack-n-play in bedroom for baby Harlie to sleep in.

ok, so this list was more for my benefit than yours. I feel like if we can get the stuff in the shed and do something with the excess stuff in the garage that will be a huge start. Then make the wall then paint then the rest won't be too bad.

15 weeks and counting down FAST. We gotta get busy!!!!

Dinner recipe to share

2011-01-12T19:18:00.000-06:00

I have a GREAT recipe to share that I just got done eating for dinner. I found it in the special edition Fatloss Oxygen, Winter 2011. I will absolutely be making this again. It might be a weekly meal I loved it so much.

Chicken Florentine

1 tsp of olive oil

4, 4 oz. boneless, skinless chicken breast

14 oz. can of crushed tomatoes

1 tsp of oregano

1 tbsp of fresh basil (or 1 tsp of dried), I used dried and it tasted really good.

10 oz. of fresh spinach

sea salt and pepper to taste

2 tbsp of shredded Parmesan cheese

1. In a large skillet over medium - high heat, heat the oil and cook chicken until lightly browned on each side, approximately 6 minutes.

2. Reduce heat to medium and stir in tomatoes, oregano and basil; place spinch on top of the chicken and cover tightly.

3. Simmer, stirring occasionally, until chicken is cooked through, approximately 15 more minutes. Stir in salt and pepper and top with cheese.

Calories: 260, Total fats: 6 g, Carbs: 10 g, Figer: 3 g, Sugars: 3 g, Protein: 40 g, Iron 3 g

Snow day...kind of

2011-01-10T16:32:00.002-06:00

We don't really get much snow where I live in Arkansas. Last year we got what was considered A LOT for our area but for the most part it might snow 2-3 times each winter and we might get 1-2 inches or maybe 3-4 or if we are lucky (or some people think un-lucky) we might get 6-7.

Well I LOVE THE SNOW!!! Now, I wouldn't want to live in the Dakota's or other states where it snows frequently but to get several bouts of snow that were 5 or more inches each year would make me very happy. That doesn't happen regularly around here so I will take what I can get.

Last night it started snowing about 6ish and we ended up with about 1 inch. It wasn't a hard snow at all but consitent for several hours. Some local schools were cancelled b/c of it which was nice for some I suppose. I did come to work, just a couple of hours late so that the roads were sure to be clear. The girls were of course SO EXCITED to get out and play in it. The husband was home with them today so they had a chance to play outside and make what small snowballs that they could.

We are expecting some more snow, so they say, but it hasn't started yet and they thought it would be here around 4ish. Well it is past 4 and no sign of it yet. Doesn't always happen like the weather man predicts it as we all know.

I am headed home soon for some taco soup made by the husband. YUM!! What a perfect snowy/cold day food.

23 weeks! PICTURE!!

2011-01-07T09:47:00.003-06:00

My baby bump is slowly growing into a "baby hill!" Feeling good though. Only 17 weeks left until we meet our sweet Harlie!

Bonus picture of the girls in front of the Christmas tree!

Baby #3 is a.....

2011-01-03T11:57:00.001-06:00

GIRL!!!!!!

We originally were not going to find out the sex of the baby but in this great world we live in we have the right to change our minds and that is exactly what we did and we are thrilled with the outcome (although we would have been thrilled with a boy too.) Whatever we have we know we are meant to have and we couldn't be happier.

Her name will be Harlie Dawn and she will join big sister Lizzie who will be 4 at the time of her birth and even bigger sister Chloe who will be 6 1/2 when she is born. Both big sisters are SO EXCITED!

We were able to surprise our family and friends at Christmas with the news and we are all getting more excited as the days go by.

Test - video

2010-12-23T10:50:00.004-06:00

This is a video from last Christmas when my husband got me my exercise bike. Just trying this out to see how it uploads. I am WAY behind.

YAY!! IT WORKED!!! I want to start posting a video from time to time and now I know how easy it is. Wish I would have been doing this all along. DUH!

21 weeks and CHRISTMAS IS COMING (pictures)!!!

2010-12-22T14:16:00.008-06:00

YAY!! It is only 2 2/1 days until Christmas. I LOVE IT!! I have always been a big fan of Christmas and now that I have young kids I love it even more. Chloe is at a great age (6) and is so into it and the best part is that she loves to get gifts of course (I mean who doesn't) but she also loves to go pick out gifts for other people. I love that!! Lizzie is into Christmas of course b/c she repeats everything Chloe says (and more)

We have a busy Christmas Eve and Christmas day. We thankfully do not have to travel b/c all of our family lives within 10-15 minutes of our house so we just hit them all on one day. It is GREAT!! Everyone is satisfied and we enjoy it too.

On another note, I have made it over the half way hump to 21 weeks pregnant. WOOT WOOT!!

Still doing pretty well. My energy levels has been a little low the past few days but hopefully that will turn around. I am not sleeping well, I wake up in the middle of the night to pee and then for the life of me I can NOT go back to sleep and I just lay there. It drives me crazy. I am so tired and I want to go back to bed immediately but I just can't. I have laid there for up to almost 2 hours and then I finally must doze off. God is trying to prepare me for the interrupted sleep when you have a new born but I would rather just sleep good now and just have it hit me after the baby is born b/c you can NEVER be prepared for it fully at all.

I will leave you with a few pictures of Chloe and Lizzie this past Sunday when they sang at the church choir concert. They looked so pretty!

Chloe is the first "S" .

Lizzie's song was about rocking baby Jesus in a cradle. It was so sweet. These are all 3-4 year olds.

This is the Mabry crew (minus one brother who was there but had to leave).
My Mom and Dad w/ the girls.

20 weeks. HALF WAY THERE!! OH YEA!!!

2010-12-16T14:08:00.007-06:00

Here is the baby. All was well. Of course we knew everything was good genetically from the results of the amnio but it was good to actually SEE a healthy looking baby on the screen. Not sure how well you can see these but they will have to do.

Feet:
profile pic with head/body and arm/hand up by the head.

Another profile pic. The nurse said it was waving at the girls. (They were with us)

This is the face. You can see the eye sockets and bridge of nose and mouth and chin.

So I am 20 weeks along now. I can't believe it. I am glad it is finally going by fast though b/c those first 10 weeks or so just seemed to creep.

I am still doing really well. Feeling GREAT!!! I don't sleep well but what's new. The other night I woke up at 1 in the morning to pee and COULD NOT for the life of me go back to sleep. I ended up having to go to the living room with my book and I read 4 chapters and laid back down at 2:30 and I think I might have gone to sleep about 3. So frustrating when you are so tired. Of course even when people aren't pregnant they have sleep patterns like this.

Exercise is non-existent. No excuses though, just not doing it. I just am not making myself. I will eventually though. I was doing pretty well with it for about 15 weeks then it got pushed to the side.

I can't believe it is 9 days before Christmas. This really is blowing my mind. I am SO EXCITED though. I love Christmas and so does my husband so this is always fun and you can imagine how much a 3 1/2 and 6 year old child loves it.

I do wish we would get some snow. I LOVE to watch it snow. I am not hopeful though that we will get some anytime soon.

Bye for now. Have a great weekend. We have a Christmas party to go to and a church choir concert that the girls will sing in. I also have to do the shopping for J b/c I only have him one small gift so far.

19 weeks!

2010-12-10T15:04:00.002-06:00

WOW!! I am 19 weeks along now and approaching our 20 week ultrasound which will be next Tuesday, December 14th. YAHOO!!

Even though we aren't finding out the gender we are SO LOOKING FORWARD to seeing him/her. We are taking our girls with us to see it so that will be so much fun. They just won't know what to think about it all. I think it is crazy that there is a baby growing inside my belly, I can't imagine what a 3 1/2 and 6 year old must think about it. Just too much to comprehend I am sure.

HELLO, it is 15 days until Christmas!!!! Can you guys believe that? I do love Christmas. I always have and even more so now that I have children. This weekend J and I hope to get our Christmas shopping finished. We just have 2 family members to buy for and the girls and I think we know what we are getting them.

I have got to get some stuff for J but I have NO IDEA what to get him. He said "just get me something." Well "something, WHAT?" I don't know. I love to get people surprises but when you can't think of what to get someone and then they don't seem to know of things they want them how in the world do you buy something for them?

Back to the pregnancy...I feel VERY PREGNANT all of the sudden. It just hit me yesterday that my belly feels really big and in some clothes it looks REALLY BIG too. I am loving it though. Just embracing this pregnancy and enjoying every minute of it.

I am feeling him/her move around a lot more now. I just can't wait until J and the girls can feel it move which should hopefully be in a couple of weeks or so.

Have a great weekend ya'll!

Belly bump pics!!!!

2010-12-02T13:08:00.004-06:00

I finally had my husband take a picture of me then I took one in the bathroom mirror also. These pics were taken on Tuesday, November 30th which was 1 day shy of me being 18 weeks.

Someone said to me the other day that "the balloon inflates much faster the 3rd time around" which made me feel a lot better by my rather large belly that I already have. I'll just take that comment and run with it.

I am feeling GREAT!! No complaints so far. Just taking it day to day and really enjoying this pregnancy.

17 weeks and amnio results!

2010-11-24T11:00:00.002-06:00

Just got a call from my Dr. office and my amniocentesis results came back and they are PERFECT!! YAY!!! HAPPY DANCE!!! I had a good feeling about them but it is always nice to get that confirmation that you are praying for.

The nurse then said "do you want to know the sex?" I quickly said "no, and I better get off the phone before I change my mind." She laughed and said "ok, bye, have a nice Thanksgiving." Shew!! That is over with. I knew they would ask me and I felt confident in my ability to say NO but it is TOUGH when it is right at your fingertips a 100% without a doubt conclusion if you are having a boy or a girl. I made it though and now should be fine to make it the rest of the way. We do have the 20 week ultrasound on December 14th but now that I made it past the amnio phone call I should be fine.

The baby is the size of an onion now accord to thebump.com. It is about 5 inches long.

I HAVE BEEN FELING IT MOVE SOME!!! Now that is the coolest thing ever. It has been very slight of course but I know that is what it is. I just can't wait until my husband and the girls especially can feel it move. I can't wait to see what they think of it.

I am feeling GREAT still.

Looking forward to some time with family over the Thanksgiving break as well as a few days off work.

Oh, and I meant to share that my husband broke his left big toe on Sunday. We had to make a trip to the ER. He was helping my Mom move a large piece of furniture into her flea market booth and it just slipped out of his hands and landed on his big toe and broke it in 4 places. No surgery necessary as of now so that is a plus. He goes to the orthopedic Dr. next Tuesday to confirm that decisions though. He is hobbling around but getting around much better each day.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving and as always don't forget to count your blessings!
Dawn

16 weeks and an amnio

2010-11-17T10:55:00.004-06:00

According to a website that sends me weekly updates of the baby and the growth the baby is now the size of an avocado and about 4 1/2 inches long.

Last week I had a blood test for genetic birth defects and my Dr. called me on Monday and said it came back elevated with some potential markers towards deffects. I had this same issue when pregnant with Lizzie. We chose to do an amniocentesis last time and we chose to do that again this time. Although, we feel like the results this time will be the same as last time, a false positive, we want to make 100% sure so that we are the most prepared.

If you have never had an amnio they sound and look much worse than they actually are. I was nervous about the procedure 4 years ago when I had it with my 2nd pregnancy but after it was over I thought "that wasn't bad at all." Then this time around it didn't worry me at all. Of course there is a slight risk with having an amnio so it is a personal choice to have one and you have to accept the risk. Both Dr.'s that perfomed mine were SUPERB and it was so quick and easy and painless. It really is an amazing procedure to me that they can stick a needle through your stomach and all the way into the womb and withdraw amniotic fluid and then it replenishes itself within 2 hours and the small hole made grows back together quickly also. Of course the whole miracle of a baby and birth still just blows my mind.

So now is the 2 week waiting period while they test the amniotic fluids chormosones and such to see how it looks. Hopefully, I will hear back about it the Monday after Thanksgiving. Although, I do feel hopeful about the results you do just never know. Prayers are appreciated.

15 week Dr. appt. and more

2010-11-10T16:10:00.003-06:00

I had a Dr. appt. this morning and all went very well. The Dr. found the heartbeat very quickly and it was a strong 160bpm. He said "do you know what that means?" I said a "healthy baby." He said "yep, a healthy boy or a girl." I said, "GREAT, exactly what I am hoping for." It was funny.

I then had some blood drawn which wasn't bad the ladies that do it are so good and it is just a little prick then they are done. WOOT!! Love that.

I go back in 5 weeks on December 14th for my 20 week ultrasound where we will get to see our baby but NOT find out the sex of it. We are taking our girls with us. They can't wait to see the baby. I am so interested to see what they will think of it.

Oh and I must add that I have exercised 3 mornings in a row. The past several weeks it has been sporadic but I am feeling really good and I figured with the time change that would give me a boost this week and it has and I have gotten in 3 AM workouts and I can tell. My body and my mind feel even better because of it. 1 more for the week in the morning to meet my weekly goal of 4 workouts each week.

Tomorrow is my FRIDAY. I am leaving town after work with the husband and some friends so that my husband can go hunting and I can just go veg. No kids!!! Looking forward to the time away.

Oh and tonight the husband and I have a weeknight DATE NIGHT. We are going to see the one and only MERLE HAGGARD!!!! OH YEA!!!

15 weeks (almost)

2010-11-08T16:09:00.002-06:00

I am 2 days shy of 15 weeks pregnant. WOOT!! It is finally picking up speed. I think that is b/c my days at work are busy as well as my evenings at home or not at home as they have been recently.

I am feeling REALLY GOOD!! I am loving the time change that just occured on Sunday. It gives me that morning boost that I need to get up and exercise. Hopefully, I can get my consistency back before I get used to the time change. An added bonus this morning my kids woke up on their own in such good moods and there was NO WHINING and it was SO GREAT!! Again, that won't last long b/c they will get used to the time change but I will take the good mornings that I can get for now.

I have a Dr. appt. on Wednesday to check the heart beat again and then to do a blood test. The appt. I schedule after that will be the 20 week ultrasound. Although, we ARE NOT finding out the sex of the baby I am still looking forward to that.

It's the weekend!

2010-10-29T16:13:00.002-05:00

TGIF!!! What a busy weekend we have planned too. Dinner with friends and then a high school football game tonight, picking up hog meat from the butcher in the morning (yes, the pigs will be ham on our table as Chloe says), Razorback football game (homecoming) on Saturday night. Sunday is church, graduation party for my cousin who finished cosmetology school, then fall festival for our church then trick or treating with the girls in the evening. SHEW!! I need to find time to squeeze in a nap somewhere.

It is such beautiful weather here in Fayetteville, AR now. I LOVE FALL!!! The temperatures are perfect, the sky is blue and the trees are turning.

Oh get this, we are big fans of Justin Moore (country singer). He just so happens to be from a small town in Arkansas and he is coming to Fayetteville soon to play his music at a local bar. WE'VE GOT TICKETS!!! WOOT!! I can't wait!

BIG NEWS!!!!

2010-10-24T16:11:00.004-05:00

I AM PREGNANT!!! Yes, baby #3 will be on his/her way in 27 weeks (I am almost 13 now), approximately May 4, 2011. WE ARE THRILLED!!! As I told you before we were trying for this baby and it happened very quickly for us as it has in the past. We are BLESSED and THANKFUL! We know everyone isn't given this gift as easily as some. We do not take it for granted.

Chloe and Lizzie are so excited. They talk about having a baby brother or sister and they can't wait for it to get here. Of course they think it will come tomorrow or in about a week. They have no concept of 7-8 months.

Unfortunately, for some, I have to tell you that we are NOT finding out the sex of the baby. We will have our 20 week ultrasound in 8 weeks but we will not have them tell us what it is. We love surprises. We did this when Chloe was born and it was SO NEAT. We did find out with Lizzie and enjoyed that as well but decided to wait this one out. There is no surprise like delivering a baby and someone saying "It's a ...." then getting to share the news with your family and friends in the waiting room. We do have names picked out though so I will share those with you in the coming weeks.

We did hear the heartbeat this past Monday on October 18th. The Dr. found it rather quickly and then measured my uterus and said "you are measuring kind of big, let's take a quick look and make sure there is only one baby in there." I looked at my husband and neither of us had an expression on our face at all and I think we are thinking "surely, it isn't twins." The Dr. put the scanner on my abdomen and quickly saw that there was just one baby. He smiled and laughed a bit and said "I really thought I was about to tell you that you are having twins." HA!! Only one healthy looking baby in there though in an oversized uterus I guess. He said my bladder must be really full even though I had just pee and didn't have the urge to go at all. Oh well, who knows what it was. Just ONE baby though. I have the pictures to prove it.

So happy that I was able to share this news with you so soon. I promise to keep you updated with my progress and such and will do a belly pick soon for you.

SEC MATCHUP!

2010-09-24T13:06:00.005-05:00

#10 - THE ARKANSAS RAZORBACKS!!!

vs.

#1 ALABAMA CRIMSON TIDE!!!!!

This weekend in Fayetteville, AR will be a HUGE SEC matchup between Alabama and the Arkansas Razorbacks and I GET TO GO!!!! WOOT!!!

I am so pumped about this. I have tickets to all of the home games and I typically enjoy them but sometimes would just prefer to watch it on tv but NOT this weekend. I want to be there in person when we BEAT ALABAMA!!!

It isn't going to be easy and honestly if we want to win we are going to have to give it all we've got and more and hope that AL isn't on it's A game.

I am very hopeful though for some reason. I just really think we can pull it off. I HAVE FAITH IN MY RAZORBACKS!!!!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOO PIG SOOIE

RAZORBACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you want to tune into what I believe to be a great football game you can catch it on CBS at 2:30 central time zone on Saturday.

I am slacking.

2010-09-14T15:48:00.003-05:00

Man, I am slacking in the blogging department. No reasons just haven't done it.

All is well though. Chloe has found her way in Kindergarten and seems to be enjoying it. It is hard to get out of her each day something that she learned. Of course I ask 1000 questions but only bet 1-2 responses. I know what thing she has learned and that is "patterns." She said "Mom, you want to know what a pattern is?" I said "sure." Then she proceded to show me a CMCMCMCM. Which is her first and last initial (glad she knows that). I was so proud of her. Now she points out any type of patter on anything. In fact she even pointed out the peace sign pattern on her new rain boots to me this morning. YAY!! Glad she is learning something at least. Oh and she did learn about money, change that is, and how much each is worth. YAY, that is WAY more important that patterns.

I am loving that it is finally cooling off a bit. I hate the hot weather. I am SO ready for fall to be in full force then I don't mine winter either. Remind me I said that when I am complaining about how cold it is.

Football season has started too and we are in full force. It isn't bad actually. J's team won the first game and tied the 2nd game, they don't do tie breakers in 8th grade football. It is practically a win in my book b/c they came back from a 14-0 defecit and 8th graders just don't usually do that so this was BIG!! It was the most action I have seen in an 8th grade game...EVER.

ok, so that is our life in a nut shell. All is well.

Pig show

2010-09-03T15:52:00.012-05:00

We had the county fair pig show on Wednesday, September 1st. We weren't really sure if Chloe was going to show, willingly at least, she kept talking the night before and morning of the show how scared she was. This girls gets SO nervous with anything out of the norm and although she had pracited this for weeks it wasn't with other people in the ring or with anyone watching her. This time was different.

She placed 6th with one pig and 8th with one pig but she gets blue ribbons b/c she was in the top part of the class.

Later, her and Lizzie showed in the Pee Wee Showmanship division and Lizzie was all GRINS. She LOVED it.

County Fair time

2010-08-30T15:32:00.008-05:00

Life is busy busy right now for us as it is for most of you as well. Chloe is doing GREAT in school. YAY!! She had a wonderful week last week and seems to actually enjoy it and is getting up good in the mornings to get ready. Lizzie doesn't seem to care that her sister isn't with her through the week now so we didn't have an adjustment there like we thought we might.

The county fair in our town starts tomorrow (Tuesday, August 31) so tonight we will take Chloe's show pigs up to the fair to stay the week so we have another CRAZY BUSY week on tap for us although it will be fun. Chloe will show her pigs on Wednesday during the day so she gets out of school that day. We will be up at the fair ground each night taking care of the pigs and visiting with friends and such that come by. I love to talk so this is right up my alley. Plus I love pigs.

Here is a pic of Chloe and Lizzie and their pigs. Hannah and Miley are their names by the way. Cute, huh? They weigh about 200 pounds right now approximately so they are a tad bigger than in this pic and they will look tons better after they have had a bath which will be tonight. They clean up pretty good for pigs that is.

What a week - FIRST DAY OF KINDERGARTEN!

2010-08-20T13:27:00.008-05:00

I have been MIA. Sorry about that. I was trying to update my blog more frequently and that obviously isn't happening.

My daughter started Kindergarten this week and my focus has been solely on that. I have been anticipating this for a while now and very excited about it on one hand but very nervous about it on the other. My daughter is very timid with new things or change and I just wasn't sure how this would go. She has gone to a preschool 3 days a week for 4 years so she is used to that but almost always cried the first few days so obviously I assume K would be the same.

Well the first day came on Thursday and she SURPRISINGLY did well. No tears at all. My husband and I held it together until we got out of her site and then we shed a few tears just b/c we can't believe our baby girl is in K. WOW, what a huge life milestone to start school. I still can't believe it.

Here she is on her first day:

With her sweet and very proud little Sister. Lizzie goes around the house saying "Chloe going go big school." It is so sweet.

In her K room at her table.

Waving good bye to us with a smile. AWWWW!! What a moment that was.

Then comes the 2nd day of K which was this morning. She went to sleep so good last night and woke up in a good mood and the morning was going GREAT until we got to her K door and she did a 180 on me and had a complete meltdown. IT WAS BAD!! I started crying b/c I felt so bad for her and she would not go in the door and she stood in the hall for almost 15 minutes refusing to go in and then going limp when I tried to pick her up. Finally I got her into the room and told the student teacher I was going to leave and she restrained her as she cried and screamed "Mom" as I went out the door. Talk about HEARTBREAKING!! I knew she would be fine in a matter of minutes but it is very difficult to leave your child in such anguish. UGH!!

Thanks to e-mail I was able to to contact the teacher and she let me know that Chloe was doing fine. She held her for a bit and she calmed down and all was well now.

We shall see how Monday goes. Here's hoping for the best.

MORE breakfast talk and Magic Bullet

2010-08-12T15:32:00.003-05:00

I realized with my breakfast talk yesterday I forgot to mention one of my favorite things to eat and that is either turkey sausage or turkey bacon. They both give you that small taste of an un healthy/greasy breakfast without all of the calories and fat.

Here is something that I love that I do eat on occasion on the weekends when we have turkey sausage:

1 high fiber english muffin, they are 100 cals and like 8 grams of fiber and 5 grams protein

1 turkey sausage patty (or you could replace this with turk bacon)

1 slice 2% cheese

1 whole egg cooked over easy. (of course you could cook your egg however you prefer)

Can we say...HEALTHY FAST FOOD BREAKFAST EQUIVALENT!! YUM!

Another heatlhy alternative and something you can totally cook up a head of time and have ready to grab and go are breakfast burritos with eggs, cheese, turkey meat product, and veggies if you want in a low carb/high fiber tortilla. LOVE THOSE TOO!

I wanted to share a few of the suggetions that others made in my comments suggestions about their favorite breakfasts. They all sound so good.

Lindsay at Protein Cake said:

1/4 cup of oats cooked in water w/ 1/4 c banana whipped into it while it is cooking. When done add in whey protein powder and cinnamon.

It must be good b/c she says she dreams about it at night and can't wait to eat it. Hmmm, might need to give this a try.

Talia at Texas Gunslinger said:

She loves her oatmeal with almond milk and 1 tbsp of bee pollen with packet of truvia and splash of Davinici Gourmet SF syrups.

She said these syrups are AWESOME and they come in 40 flavors like Toasted Marshmallow, German Chocolate Cake, Dulce Leche.

YUM!! I have heard of these Davinici syrups before and I might need to give them a try too. You get them here: http://www.davincigourmet.com/products/sugar_free_flavored_syrups/

Natalie at Normal to Natalie said: (this is actually one of my personal favorites, love me some protein pancakes!)

1/2 cup dry reg oatmeal1

1/2 cup ff cottage cheese

1/2 cup egg whites

1/2 cup egg beaters (because they are thicker than the egg whites and with much experimenting this is the best consistancy)

Blend in magic bullet and cook on griddle just like you would pancakes. yum! also, lately I've been adding a small handful of baby spinach leaves before blending. adds some vitamins and fiber and doesn't change the flavor any just turns them green.

Side note from Dawn: Great idea to add the spinach. I make a green monster as some refer to it with 1 scoop of protien powder and a large handful of spinach and blend up and it is a great way to get in your healthy greens without having to eat them. I am just not a big fan of them in regular consistency but I love them blended up.

Oh and if you do not have a magic bullet I HIGHLY recommend this as a purchase. In fact this is what one looks like when you are blending a green monster.

Let's talk Breakfast

2010-08-11T16:39:00.008-05:00

I eat the SAME breakfast every day with the exception of putting either 1 cup of blueberries or blackberries in my oatmeal on some mornings. As for the eggs they almost never change. I eat 6-7 egg whites cooked in the shape on omelett with cinnamon and splenda sprinkled on it.

I start with regular eggs and seperate them myself b/c it is cheaper than buying the egg whites in a carton although I have done that in the past this is way more cost effective.

Here is my splenda in the red canister and my cinnamon.
I spray the skillet with olive oil spray or butter flavored spray and I actually turn the skillet on to medium heat at #6 and I crack and seperate the egg whites directly into the skillet (just keeps me from dirtying up another bowl. I do put the yolks in a small bowl then put them down the sink.

I just let the egg mixture sit until it sets up and then I flip half of it over like you see in the picture below. Then I sprinkle a tad more splenda and cinnamon on that side.

Then I flip to the other side and sprinkle again and cut it in half to make sure it is cooked all the way through (I don't like runny egg whites but I do like runny yolks like a sunny side egg...go figure). Then I put it in a tupperware container and put it in the fridge and I heat it up in the microvave the next morning at work for about 45 seconds. I make it at night almost always to save time in the morning.

Here is my 1/2 cup of dry oatmeal made with 1 cup of water and splenda and cinnamon and cooked in the microwae for about 3 minutes. YUM!!!!

Also, with the eggs you could also scramble the egg whites and still use the splenda and cinnamon. I choose the omelett way b/c I can let it sit and cook while I am prepping other foods for my breakfast. If you scramble you have to take time to stir it more often.

I am a creature of habit. I have had this exact same breakfast 98% of the time for the last 9 months. I never seem to get tired of it.

There are so many other ideas like:

1) egg/veggie omelet and a fruit

2) english muffin with peanut butter and a fruit

3) greek yogurt, fruit

4) toast, eggs, fruit

5) waffle, eggs, fruit

6) protein shake and oatmeal

A good balanced breakfast in my opinion has protein and some healthy carb in the form of veggies, fruit or a grain.

What are some of your favorite healthy breakfast ideas?

My current menu

2010-08-06T15:35:00.002-05:00

So I thought I would post what my current menu is looking like.

B - 6 egg whites, 1/2 cup of blueberries, 1/2 cup of oatmeal. Almost exactly what I ate for 7 months during bikini comp prep minus the blue berries. I just love this breakfast. I am so addicted to my oatmeal and egg whites with cinnamon and splenda on both that I can't deter from this habitual breakfast.

Mid - morning snack - 12 almonds and a protien shake

L - Cole slaw mixture with a little bit of light miracle whip and spicy southwestern mustard with a can of tuna mixed in (this is really good and so easy). 1 cucumber or 1 bell pepper with 2 tbsp of hummus

Aft snack - apple and peanut butter

Aft snack #2 (I am always hungriest in the afternoons so I have two snacks) - 12 almonds and either sf/ff pudding or sf jello

Dinner - some type of protein like ground turkey, chicken or lean ground beef and a green veggie

If hungry before bed I have a protein shake with a little bit of water, 1 tbsp of sf/ff jello pudding powder, 1 scoop of protein powder and lots of ice mixed up in the magic bullet. It comes out slushy. It is really good.

So that is how my current menu looks. I don't deviate from it very much b/c I just eat the same things over and over.

Change of heart

2010-08-02T13:09:00.002-05:00

After MUCH deep thought and consideration and I going back and forth in my mind I have decided to NOT do the bikini competition in Topeka, KS in 8 weeks. I realize it is only 8 weeks out but my heart is just not in it.

I worked so hard for 7 months and ate so SOLID and was so dedicated to my food and exercised on average 6 days a week for 28 weeks in a row and exercised 2 times a day for 3-4 days a week for about 20 of those weeks and honestly, my mind and my body are just not into it as I thought they were.

I am SO SUPER DUPER proud that I did the Chattanooga comp and there is a good chance down the road that I will do it again but for now it is not in the cards for me.

My mind is on having a baby and finding the balance and searching for the food control that I am still lacking and then having a healthy pregnancy.

The great thing is that I have had these thoughts of possibly not doing the competition for 2 weeks and I have still stuck to my bikini food plan and exercise schedule and that makes me feel so good. I haven't eaten anything off my plan for 3 weeks now. YAY!! I had a great moment both weekend evenings in which I showed a lot of food control and I was SO PROUD of myself. Saturday night we went to dinner for my BIL's birthday and he chose Olive Garden. I seeked out the best thing on the menu for me and it was the Venetian Apricot Chicken which is SO GOOD. So I had that and 2 servings of salad with no breadsticks and that has no pasta. The apricot chicken has 380 cals, 32 carbs and 4 grams of fat and it is mighty tasty. Then Sunday night we were at my in-laws and my MIL cooked cheese dip (my favorite) and beef enchiladas and fried okra AND cupcakes for dessert. I thought to myself "this is the first time in 3 weeks that you will eat off a bikini plan and you must have control." and I DID. I got myself a small plate and put a small serving of enchiladas and fried okra and chips and a ramekin of cheese dip and that was it. I even passed up on the cupcakes. WOW!! SO SO PROUD OF the decision that

I made last night. I can tell I have made the right decision b/c honestly I feel somewhat relieved.

My new goals are to just eat clean on a daily basis. If I want fruit with my oatmeal and then an apple for a snack then I am going to eat it. I will stay away from sugar unless I just feel like I can't pass something up and I will stay away from bread, pastas and most dairy too. For now I am not even planning to eat a cheat meal weekly, if something comes up that I want to eat that is off my clean eating plan then I will eat a controlled portion of it and if not then I will just keep on with my plan.I will workout a consistent 5 days a week doing morning workouts before work for 45-60 minutes. I do plan to keep up with the weights though and I can do that at home or do an occasional one at the gym.

I do want to lose about 5 pounds and mostly inches and I will just do that slowly over time. At this moment in time I feel good about where I am and where my head is at and I am happy with that.

Cruising along

2010-07-28T16:21:00.002-05:00

All is well just cruising along. Eating chicken and green beans and lots of tuna and getting in my cardio in the morning and then three strength sessions per week either at lunch or after work.

I am in my 3rd week of my boot camp class and still enjoying that pretty well. My only complaint is that the instructor does not keep up a good pace from one exercise to the next. The people in there could challenge themsevles A LOT more if the instructor would push them a little harder. Oh well, if I want to do it my way then I guess I need to teach my own class. If I thought people would come to my street at 5:30 am I just might do that.

Life is good, no complaints (except that it is TOO HOT!).

This is why you paint on the tan!

2010-07-24T16:05:00.003-05:00

I have been meaning to share these pics with my blog family and I haven't gotten around to it. You know how I have talked about the wicked dark tan that you paint on. Well below is the reason why they do it in these competitions. It makes the muscles POP. It is more important for the body builders and figure competitors b/c while they are on stage they actually flex their muscles and that is how they are judged. So having the tan just brings out the muscles in full force.

So after my first coat of tan Friday night before the competition I decided to flex and my friends exclaimed "Dawn, LOOK AT YOUR MUSCLES." Well I couldn't see the back ones very well for obvious reasons so I had them take a picture for me. I love my new found muscles so I LOVED seeing this.

Check this out:

DETOUR from my previous plan.

2010-07-20T13:57:00.002-05:00

So as you know I stated in my post a few weeks ago that we hope to have a 3rd child in the near future. Well that is still a very true statement but the baby making is going to be put off just a few weeks b/c I have decided to do ANOTHER BIKINI COMPETITION!!! Yes, you read that right, one more competition before I hang up the stripper heels and bikini and press on to extend our family.

Here is the story:
My friend, Joni, lives in Kansas and before the Chattanooga competition she mentioned possibly doing the Kansas State Show in Topeka, KS. I immediately told her that I would consider doing it too. After the Chatty comp she spoke of her plans which did not consist of the Kansas competition which was fine with me. I was good with her decision either way and I had not planned to do it alone. Well, last week rolled around and I get a very exciting e-mail from her saying that SHE IS DOING THE SHOW. I immediately start thinking in my mind that "I WANT TO DO IT TOO." I talked to my immediate support system which consist of my husband and parents and they all said GO FOR IT! So here I am in my 11 week (a little less now), 74 days, out from a bikini comp in Topeka, KS.

As some other competitors that I know have said "you have been bitten by the bug." I guess I have. I know that I am never going to win or even place (although, I do have my 5th place out of 5 trophy at home on my vanity, WOOT WOOT). I do not by any means have the hard rock smokin' bodies that 95% of the contestants have but I want to do it anyway. When I ran my full marathon last year my bib said "Because I can" and that is the exact way that I feel about these body competitions. I can do the prep and training to the best of my ability and get on that stage and feel so DARN FABULOUS and know that I DID THIS and I simply love that feeling. I let so many years of my life pass me by, although enjoying my family and friends, deep down I was not pleased with ME and was not reaching my potential because of it.

Finally, those times have changed and I intend to make the most of it. We all know how short life can be and so while I am on earth I want to know that I loved my family and my friends and that I spent quality time with them enjoying life and that I gave myself the best life that I could and did things that I wanted to do for me along the way.

So with that being said I am going for it. I have 74 days until show day so we will see what type of outcome I have this time. I have the shoes and I have the NPC card that you need to be able to register for the shows. I do think I want to get a new suit, same style as the purple but a different color. I will have to get another bottle of that crazy tanner, seriously that stuff cracks me up for some reason b/c you are just wicked dark and it is just unnatural but it is all a part of the body competition package so I will go along with it.

74 days, here we go on another roller coaster ride. WHEEEEEEE!!!

Guest blogger and check out her AMAZING PROGRESS!

2010-07-15T10:57:00.007-05:00

Stacia has a blog, too. I have been trying to get her to share her lifestyle transformation on it so she could inspire those that read her blog. Maybe now she will.

Start of her post:

I have asked Dawn if I could guest blog on her blog….after I did I was not sure where I would start as I get nervous & get my words tangled ha!

I came across Dawn’s blog about a year and a half ago and I would watch, never comment just watch.

The entire time thinking WOW!!!! I would stop looking at her blog for a bit and then find myself right back on her blog, I was just so amazed!

After some time I commented and asked Dawn for her email and asked if she would help guide me, boy has she ever!

I have never met anyone with such determination and spunk!
(I say that loosely as we have not actually met yet, but we will if I need to take a trip to her town J)

Dawn and I would talk through email and she would make suggestions I would listen and keep on eating what I was eating or I would even try a bit but it was not consistent. One day in either the end of February or early March I was like okay “I can do this too!”

And here I am 23 lbs lighter (or it was 23 lbs last I checked, hopefully more now)

Yes I have a long way to go and 23 lbs is not that much but I am getting there! I COULD NOT have done any of it without Dawn, she inspires me like you would not believe!! Anything I need help with whether it be food ideas or text at 5:00 a.m. to get out of bed and burn those calories she is right there for me, even checking in on me while she vacations.

I want to say Thank You Dawn & You Rock!!!

Thank you, Stacia for such kind words. Nothing gives me more gratification/satisfacation than knowing that I inspired someone to get off the couch and get moving and eat healthy. I tell people all of the time that the grass is truly greener on this side of the fence and if I made it over here than ANYONE CAN DO IT! Where there is a will there is a way and I encourage you to find the "way" just like Stacia did. Keep rollin', Stacia, b/c at this pace you are getting closer and closer to your goal as the days go by.

BOOT CAMP!!!!

2010-07-13T10:08:00.002-05:00

So I needed a change up from going to my spare bedroom in the mornings to work out b/c over time it just gets kind of boring as you might imagine. There is an organized, meet in a parking lot, have a trainer guide you, boot camp class in my area. I have been wanting to do it for months and it finally works out. I am there just a tad before 5:30 am and it starts at 5:30 on the dot and last a full hour. The hour flies by though. I just completed my 2nd day this morning and I really like it.

The first day seemed rather easy and I was a tad disappointed but I was hoping maybe they just build over time. I was originally thinking it would just be balls to the wall from the first day and if you could keep up, great, and if not then you would eventually be able to keep up but that isn't how they do it apparently. Which is fine and totally fits most people's fitness levels.

Anyway, after the 2nd morning I can tell that they will increase the difficulty and intensity over time and over the next 4 weeks so that is a plus. I just do everything harder and faster to get my heart rate up where I know it needs to be so that I am burning fat most efficiently. That is the good thing about it is that you can learn how to adjust it to fit your needs more.

I do love the group atmosphere. I have always loved group exercise classes and I haven't done them in a while. It makes the hour pass by so fast which is a huge bonus.

I will keep you updated on it as it goes along. Thursday we do a fitness test to see how long we can hold a plank, how many sit ups we can do, how long we can hold a wall (squat) sit and then we do a 12 minute run also. WOOT!! Can't wait to see how I do with those.

Did I make you proud?

2010-07-08T14:00:00.002-05:00

I realize this is my blog and I should be doing the writing but often I come across other wonderful things that people write and if I don't share it here then you will never get to read it and I don't want that. So I have to share this blog with you below. I think that often people that are embarking on this health/fitness journey to change their lives often just need to read/see one thing that will get them off the couch and to eating healthy food. You just never know what that one thing might be. My thought is that this blog below might just be the ticket for some people and could be the beginning of their "AHA, I have had enough of being how I am" moment.

This was written on facebook by a friend of my trainer, Corinne, from Phit-N-Phat. Carlene is a figure competitor and personal trainer and the mother of 3 kids. This is her site: http://www.mommysbody.com/

A friend of mine (Carlene) on Facebook wrote this and I thought it was important to share with PNP girls and future readers. Let's not ever forget the blessings we are given. USE them instead of finding excuses to avoid them.

I have been in good physical condition for most of my life. I think I can even say that I have been in peak physical condition – enough to rival any athlete – for most of my adult life. I have been so very, amazingly blessed to have a career in the health and fitness industry. It so happens that even my "hobby" is in health and fitness, through figure competing. As a matter of fact, most of the people that will read this will likely be “in the industry”; but in the best event, that it reaches some of those NOT in the fitness industry….know this is for you.

Since I work in the field of helping people get fit and healthy, I get asked many, many questions. But over the years, one question stands out above all others. The question is “How do you do it? How do you work, manage a home and 3 kids, AND find time to exercise?”

Many assume that I am in good shape BECAUSE I compete. While that would be a good enough reason, it isn’t so with me. I only compete because I stay in shape. Many assume it is for the aesthetic benefits. That too, should be reward enough. But the truth is, MY reasons, my truth as to why/how I do what I do goes much deeper. I seldom venture into conversation about my inner thoughts on why I stay fit, but since I get asked so often, I thought I would open up and share.

I actually did start out (like many other women “in the industry”) as a teenage girl with body image issues, which eventually lead to eating disorders. Thank goodness I did not struggle too long with it, before my totally in-tune mother caught on and put a big fat (pardon the pun) quietus on that whole scene. Many may think it harsh, but she plainly and flatly told me that I was NOT going to be a cheater. She told me that if I was not happy with myself, then I was to do something about it….the HARD way…the REAL way. She said starving and vomiting was the cheaters way and she sure as well was not going to stand for it. If I wanted something, I had to work for it. That week, she made sure that I went to check out the local gyms and pick one to join. My dad played taxi for me (at 15) to get me to and from the gym several nights a week and I really was hooked. I was fortunate that I started to develop an appreciation for my body at an early age. But my story does not end there.

Perhaps my appreciation gave way to what happened next, or perhaps it is my Christian beliefs (I like to think it a blend of the two) but I started having recurring dreams. In my dreams, it was my time to meet my maker. I have no idea if I had lived a long life or a short one, but in the end, when I got to Jesus, I was startled to find Him in a wheelchair (yes, I know it’s odd, but who can really explain their dreams? It always makes sense while you are IN the dream). Yes, Jesus was in a wheel chair. As I stood before him, and gazed down at Him, He looked me in the eye and He said:
“You may be surprised to see me this way, but let me explain. I absolutely had the option to be free of this handicap; I could have chosen to walk among you. Instead, I chose to give MY ability to walk to one of my children. I had to choose carefully, and I chose you. Please, tell me, what you have done with that gift?” All I could do was stare in shock, feeling abject and utterly unworthy!

This is a recurring dream for me. It started out with Jesus in a wheel chair, but at times, He had other afflictions. Sometimes, He has a bad heart, sometimes bad lungs, sometimes chronic pain. Yes, I know these are manifestations of my own mind, translated into my dreams and while I am sure they last only seconds, their impact lasts forever. I cannot help but always be mindful of the “gifts” I have been given. Yes, given. I didn’t earn them, I didn’t deserve them, yet I was given them.

I have no doubt I have MANY shortcomings in my life. I am certainly not professing that I do it all right. I am constantly seeking ways to improve. I am not trying to be like anyone else. I am not simply seeking a trophy on a stage…or your approval. I am seeking the approval of my maker; I am seeking a “well done” from my God.When I stand before Him at the end, and He asks me, I want to tell Him that each and every day I used my legs to carry me many miles, with no destination in mind – because they could. I worked my heart every day to make it stronger. I challenged my lungs on a regular basis only so they could be more efficient. I want to tell Him I fed my body the clean foods it needed for total system optimization and I want to tell Him I fed my soul with His words and the wonder of everything He created around me.

While many may pay me compliments on the physical appearance of my body…..or judge me for standing on a stage in a small bikini with my body on display (which can seem an odd reconciliation to my conservative, Christian beliefs) I am here to tell them all that my body & my health are my biggest tribute. They are my best testament to my Savior and those around me that I did not take my “gifts” for granted. When my time does come, whenever that may be, I want to stand before my Father, having not forsaken Him, look Him in the eye, and ask “Did I make you proud?”

Vanity sizing

2010-07-07T14:18:00.002-05:00

I loved this. It was written by my trainer, Corinne at Phit-N-Phat. Wanted to share b/c I totally 100% agree with her.

Vanity Sizing...My Thoughts

I had a client of PNP recently go shopping and got frustrated that so many sizes in the same store weren't fitting, weren't consistent, etc. This opened the flood gates for discussion in her journal about how:

- we can't use the scale too much as an indicator of weightloss success.
- inches also don't always tell the story since we don't measure every part of the body that shrinks. Like you really measure your forearms, knees, etc., and they can all lose fat.
- body fat is skewed too often unless you are using a dunk tank. Many trainers are inconsistent, don't measure enough points, or just don't know how.

Honestly, I've heard another online trainer say it many times and I agree with him, there is only one true measure of progress: the mirror. Take a look in it! You either like it, see changes month-to-month, don't see any progress, or see yourself getting bigger.
So, I made a post to her about my last trip to Vegas...here's what I said and hope it gives you an idea of how to use vanity sizing positively and not let it dictate how you feel about yourself. It all comes down to what you look like to YOU and the WORLD.

You are not alone. I was just talking about this with Chris in Vegas. I kid you not, in my luggage I had a pair of 4 jeans, 6 boot cut jeans that are TIGHTER than the 4's and the 4's are skinny jeans no less, a pair of 8's I never broke out due to wearing leggings under some CUTE new dress type tops, and a pair of 10's that just feel so good I don't give a toot what the heck the tag says. They travel EXCELLENT and give me a cute shape when my top is tighter.
So, I packed the rainbow of vanity sizing. For awhile it bothered me to have bigger sizes, then I went through a phase of buying crap fitting jeans because of the size in the tag. Now I have decided to LOOK and FEEL good in my clothes because I'm more likely to exercise and eat right when I'm not bah-humbug over how my waist or thighs feel.

One other thing...why do you put yourself through torture of trying on old shorts you KNOW you wore when you were at a weight you didn't love outside of the number? You said it yourself: you were skinny fat and super unhealthy with your eating.

Losing weight and changing your lifestyle to a healthy one is 80 food and 20 exercise. But if you divide it three ways it's 60 mental, 25 food, and 5 exercise. Get out of your mental way, eat right, and move. Amazing how dumping the brain fog of long term diet mentality will help most people accept they just need to be healthy and not starving.

What's next?

2010-07-06T12:55:00.002-05:00

Now that I have completed a marathon and bikini competition you might be wondering what is next on the "bucket list" so to speak. Would you believe me if I told you it is to expand our family and have a third baby? Well, it is TRUE!! That is what we want to do.

We decided long ago that we wanted 3 kids if it was meant to work out that way for us. We now have 2 girls so it is time to get started on the 3rd to see if we are meant to be the parents of 3 children.

Just to answer a few questions that you might be wondering about:

1) Are we trying for a boy? The answer is NO! We are trying for a baby. We would LOVE to have a boy obviously since we don't have one. What a treat that would be for us. We would also LOVE to have a third girl. What a special thing that would be to have three sweet girls. My husband is in a family with 2 other boys and when they get together which is often they just automatically revert back to childhood. It is the strangest and neatest thing to watch them interact and they are SO MUCH alike yet so different.

2) Are you sure you want to get pregnant after you have worked so hard to lose the fat? The answer is YES! It's just fat, it comes with the territory and if you are mindful you can limit it. Whatever I gain I will lose in time. I am not going to let the weight gain keep me from having another baby. Having a baby is just too big of a priority for me to let some additional weight get in the way.

3) When? Let's just say we are no longer preventing it BUT we aren't trying real hard over the next couple of months. I am hoping to settle in and find my happy weight over the next 6-8 weeks before we really start trying but if we were to get pregnant between now and then which I know can happen b/c it happened with my 2nd daugher (pregnant the first month) then we would not be sad. After 2 months have passed though then it is serious business in the baby making department and we will just see what happens. We were very blessed with getting pregnant quickly with our first two so we will see if we have the same luck with the 3rd. If for some reason we aren't able to we will just be grateful for the two we have and figure we were meant to have two and be fine with it.

In the mean time I will continue to find my balance with food and keep up with the exercise though. By the way I have NOT weighed. I have no idea what I am at currently. I am thinking between 135-140 which I am fine with. I don't have a set number that I want to be. Just want to feel good about the food I am putting in my mouth and the clothes I am wearing and the way I look in the mirror. The scale will fall where it will.

Competition Recap!

2010-06-30T11:33:00.002-05:00

Warning this is long read if you like or skim or ignore. I just want to have this in writing in the history books (my blog - until something happens to it at least).

It has been a little over two weeks since the competition already. It is kind of like Christmas, you pepare for it for months before hand and you get SO excited then it is over in a flash like Christmas morning/day is.

First, I want to say that this is the hardest thing I have done to date physically and mentally FOR SURE. Harder than a 4 year college degree (that took me 10 years to get) and harder than the marathon, not that either one of those accomplishments were easy by any means though b/c they absolutely weren't.

Second, I want to say that I AM SO GLAD that I DID THIS and I would have always regretted it if I would not have went for it.

You guys know how I felt through the process from reading my journal for the past 28 weeks. It was a roller coaster with so many ups and down. Thankfully, I think the majority of the days I felt good and positive but when I was down it was rough but again, thankfully, those times quickly passed.

I am ABSOLUTEY AMAZED at what I was able to accomplish. I never really thought I would be able to stay that dedicated to the exercise THAT LONG and I never thought I would be able to stay THAT COMMITTED to the food THAT LONG...BUT I DID!! It just proves the point that you don't know what you are capable of until you actually DO IT and see what you can really do. We all TOTALLY UNDERESTIMATE ourselves, even me.

As far as the actual competition goes it was just GREAT. I really tried to soak it all in, kind of like my rehearsal dinner and wedding day when I got married. I really wanted to always remember that day and that weekend that was so special to me and J and the competition was a lot like that. I knew like a wedding event that this might be the only time that I ever do this so I wanted to lock it up in my memory for safe keeping.

Getting to Corinne's and seeing her and Joni first just warmed my heart. It was so great to hug them and see them in person. Then later Caroline and Bobby showed up and then Maggie and Jane and it was just GREAT. It puts a smile on my face thinking about it. Then the next day I get to see Lisa when she comes to pick up the crew then we get to the hotel in Chattanooga and we see Roxane and David. Let me tell you this, you think all of these women look AWESOME in pictures well you should see them in person. They were TINY!! All just SO SO SMALL and SO BEAUITUFUL. The pictures just don't to anyone justice in my opinion. I just kept staring at Joni and saying how small she was compared to the last time I saw her a year ago at Phat Camp. I just couldn't get over it. (All of the above people are members of Phit-N-Phat.com and we all did the competition together. 4 of us did the bikini division and 2 of them did the figure division)

Friday night we went to check in at the host hotel and that was our first glimpse of some of the other competitors. I don't know if I speak for everyone but I am pretty sure I do when I say we were in "awe" of so many of the women. When you know what it takes to do something like this and make it to the stage you just have a new respect for those women and men of course and you see their muscles and their physiques. It is just amazing.

To top it off, you won't believe this but when I was sitting there completing some forms I look over to my right and I see two girls that look VERY familiar and to my amazement once again was Becca and Jessica. Becca who is my trainer for this bikini competition with her husband Tim and Jessica who is her friend who are both from Michigan who I have gotten to know through their blogs and e-mail. They drove ALL the way from MI to support me and 2 other competitiors. I could NOT BELIEVE IT. Tears came to my eyes as I was thinking how supportive they have been and how they took time out of their life to come support me and they have never even met me in person until this exact moment. WOW! What good friends. I am SO BLESSED.

Then it was time to head back to the hotel to get our tan on. You guys the tan is so wicked dark. I think I stood there with my mouth open in amazement at how dark it was when sweet Maggie and Jane were painting it on. Bless their hearts they were just so awesome. They did everything for us and got up very close and personal with us. I told them I have never been up this close and personal with my lifetime friends but I felt totally comfortable with them. It was a funny moment for sure.

I forgot to mention that my parents had arrived after we got back from the check in and it was good to see them. I am so truly blessed to have such wonderful parents that drove so long to support me. They could not get over how good I looked and they kept telling me so. They are both just full of compliments which is always nice to hear. They were proud to say the least.

So bed time came as I slept on my own sheets that I brought with me to put on the hotel bed. Saturday morning was going to come early with a 4:45 alarm set. I hardly slept as you might imagine.

Oh and my girls and my husband were so great through all of this they just did whatever I needed them to do and they stayed out of the way when needed. My girls just stared at me with the tan. They didn't know what to think. Jeremy said "don't touch me." HA!! Jeremy said this weekend is about YOU so don't worry a bit about me. AWWW, SO SWEET. I AM SO BLESSED!

Saturday morning I headed to Corinne's room where the lights were bright and the getting ready process had already began. You know I had on a layer of tan already and you can't get wet b/c it will come off so I bent over the bath tub and Sweet Maggie washed my hair for me then I blow dryed and put it up in my famous velcro rollers while Joni was getting her make up done by Corinne. Then it was my turn and Corinne turned me into a DIVA!! What fun that was. Seriously, I felt like a ROCK STAR!! Then the BIG HAIR came down. Oh and I got another layer of tan in there somewhere. I forgot to share that my Saturday morning breakfast was a double cheeseburger plain with no bun. J had bought it the night before when he was out to eat and we put it in a fridge. Even though it wasn't warm I actually thought it was REALLY TASTY!

So before we know it is time to load up and head to the Tivoli Theater for a quick meeting of the competitors and pre-judging. It was just so cool being there and being a part of all of it and seeing the other competitiors with their tans on and their make up done and their hair did. JUST SO COOL!! Words can't really describe it.

Then it was time for pre-judging to start and I still wasn't too nervous...YET. Oh, also I had learned that there were 5 people in my bikini short class (it was divided into 3 parts, short,medium and tall) and they give trophy's to the top 5 so I knew I would get one. WOOT!! What a great momento.

The other 4 ladies in my class were all so sweet and as excited and nervous as I was as we were getting ready to go on stage.

I was standing waiting to go on and I was slightly nervous but not too bad but as soon as I stepped out from behind the curtain and actually onto the stage and saw the thousand judges staring at you and blinded by the stage lights I was scared to death! My heart was beating SO SO SO FAST and my legs were shaking. It was one of those moments that I thought my heart would beat out of my chest for sure. I smiled the entire time though. I tried to concentrate on that. I could hear my fans saying "GO 40 (my number)" and "GO DAWN" and the best one "GO MOMMY GO". I teared up at first but I knew I didn't want to cry so I dried it up and just soaked in the moment. I looked at the judges and tried to look at my family even though I couldn't see them I knew they could tell I was looking at them.

Then I did my thing on stage and stepped off the stage and SHEW that part was done. I had done it. I WAS A FULL FLEDGED BIKINI COMPETITOR!! The funny thing is that I wasn't scared at all about being in my bikini out there. I didn't care that people were seeing me in it. I felt so good about how I LOOKED that I wasn't bothered by that. I think it was just the judges and the people and the event that made my heart beat so fast and my legs shake but not that I didn't feel good about me.

It took my heart a little bit of time to slow down even after I stepped off the stage.
Then we had some down time after everyone was done. We cheered the others on which was such a great moment as well to see your friends that you know have worked so hard do their thing and accomplish such an amazing goal.

So we ate some lunch, I had a hamburger patty again and a diet coke and then we rested at the hotel then it was time to freshen up and do it all over again at the night show. You would have thought I would have been less nervous and I was hoping that I was BUT I wasn't. Still nervous and scared but it was still SO WONDERFUL knowing I WAS DOING IT!! I got my 5th place trophy and I was so proud. I teared up again when I was standing there with it.

I thought to myself "I REALLY DID THIS, DAWN, YOU REALLY are standing on stage in a bikini at a competition...WOW" Shew, I am tearing up right now writing this. I still can't believe I did it. SO PROUD, JUST SO PROUD!

So I will end my recap there, I could say so much more but that was it in a nutshell. What a life experience that I will NEVER forget. I am so thankful that I stepped out on a limb and chipped away at it little by little and stuck with it and just WENT FOR IT!! I will always remember this moment in my life.

HELLO from the BEACH!

2010-06-21T17:54:00.007-05:00

I am having a WONDERFUL time with my family on the beach. I had planned to give you a big report while I was on vacation but I am just going to do it when I return so that I can focus on my family vacation for now.

I did post that new picture at the top of my blog this was me at the hotel between the pre-judging and the night show. I realize it is a BIG picture. I will have to mess with the size when I get back to my home computer instead of this slower laptop I am on.

FYI - On the morning of the competition after water/sodium deplete I weighed in at a very small 124.8!!! I could not believe it. To be at that for just a day was very cool. As of this past Friday, June 18th I weighed in just to see what I was at and I was at 132.4. Which I was very pleased with. Obviously, I knew I would not stay in the 120's and I am completely fine with that. Just trying to enjoy my vacation for now with a few treats but not go overboard. If I can stay under 140 through my vacation then try to settle in around 135 I think that is what I am hoping to do. Time will tell though. I have exercised 6 out of the 8 days that I have been on vacation though and I am SO PROUD of that. Frankly, I am in such the habit of exercising 5-7 days a week and I feel so much better when I do and I do not want to get out of the habit. I have been sleeping in until 6:45 and working out from 7-8 and can enjoy the rest of my day with my family while still getting my "me time" that my body and mind love.

Here are a few other pics too:

Here I am before my first layer of tan. The tan was WICKED DARK!! It was just so crazy how dark it was. I liked it though b/c it was so out of the norm.

I am getting my make up done Saturday morning around 5:30 AM by Corinne.

This is me and my dear friend, Joni, that did the bikini comp with me. She is with Phit-N-Phat also. This was at the competitors meeting before the pre-judging started on Saturday morning at 9.

Backstage before the pre-judging.

I DID IT! Brief check-in

2010-06-15T19:42:00.002-05:00

Sorry for the delay in my post. We started our vacation a day early and we have not had internet. I am in the parking lot of a McD's at the moment posting this.

I don't have pics to share at the moment. I will though hopefully later this week when I download them and come back to McD's.

Just wanted to tell you that the competition was AWESOME!! It was an amazing life experience that I am so thankful that I did.

I have a new respect for those competitors. I obviously got a taste of what it is like to dedicate yourself to such a goal but it is a completely other thing to get out there on that stage with confidence. I was SCARED TO DEATH!! I had no idea I would be that scared and honestly I am glad I didn't realize it until I was already on the stage. My heart was about to beat out of my chest and my legs were totally shaking from the anxiety. I think I managed to smile and my friends said they couldn't tell I was that nervous. I think they were just being kind though.

I have a lot more to share about it but just wanted to start with that. I will have to go in more detail after my vacation which lasts a while longer so it will be another week and half or so before I share more. I have SO MANY people to thank also. I did not accomplish this goal alone that is for sure.

A major plus was that there were 5 people in the bikini short class that I was in so all 5 of us got trophys so I walked away with a 5th place trophy to always remember the moment and my accomplishment.

ok, that is it for now I could type for hours sharing everything but my family is ready to leave the McD's parking lot.

Thanks again for all of the well wishes. Can't wait to share the pics with you of my experience.

2 days

2010-06-09T20:30:00.002-05:00

When I wake up in the morning I will have 2 days until the STAGE!!! I STILL CANNOT believe I am doing this.

I am feeling pretty good. TIRED still but I have been so busy preparing for our trip and running around like a chicken with my head cut off so I am sure that is playing into my tiredness.

Doing well on the 2 gallons of water a day although it is a challenge. I will drink 2 gallons on the road tomorrow. OY!! I wonder how many pit stops we will have to make. Oh and tomorrow is NO SODIUM day so the water should run right through me or it might start doing that towards the end of the day b/c I will still have some sodium in me from the past few days.

I am cooking up my chicken and getting I made my oatmeal into pancakes so that I can eat it on the road better. I have 2 servings of broccoli and then 1 oz of almonds that I will eat tomorrow.

Friday is my chicken, no sodium rice cake and no sodium peanut butter day. YUM, PEANUT BUTTER. I CAN'T WAIT to sink my teeth into that.

Oh and as soon as I step off the stage Saturday night I have a beautiful red/crispy fuji apple with peanut butter and a small package of pecan halfs. As I was at the store today getting last minute stuff for our trip I was thinking about what I wanted and I LOVE ME SOME PECANS so I got a small package (if I had a big package I would eat all of it).

Well I better get off here so I can finish my to do list before I hit the sack.

I am asking for prayers for our safe travel. We will be in a vehicle on a busy interstate for 10 hours or so.

If I can I will try to post Thursday or Friday but I am not guaranteeing it. I will for sure post on Sunday WITH PICTURES!!!!

THANK YOU ALL FOR THE SUPPORT AND THE WONDERFUL COMPLIMENTS!

4 days out

2010-06-08T12:58:00.002-05:00

Well the clock is ticking down and today I am actually too tired and have too much on my mind to think about it. I will be glad when Thursday AM get her and we are ready to load up in the car and head out.

You know what it is like getting ready for any trip...stressful! It will all work out though and we will have everything. If we don't we can buy it at a Wal-Mart.

I am just sitting here chugging my water. When you have to drink 2 gallons you are almost constantly taking sips it seems or sometimes I just have dedicated chug session every 15-30 minutes.

This afternoon on the agenda is a fresh painting on the toes and a fill of the nails then home to pack the girls clothes then my clothes after they go to bed. Tomorrow I am off work so it will be grocery shopping and food prep. Yes, I have to get groceries BEFORE I leave town to take with me for my food as well as for my kids and hubby. We are non-stop travelers except to pee. We snack and drink in the car. We will be stopping during lunch time tomorrow to visit my sister for a short bit then back on the road to Nashville.

I hope to make a brief post tomorrow then that will be it before I post the pictures on Sunday.

Thanks again for all of the comments and support and well wishes. I can't thank you enough.

5 days...REALLY?

2010-06-07T16:19:00.002-05:00

I want to take a minute to thank ALL of you for the wonderful and encouraging comments you are leaving on my blog. MUCH APPRECIATED!!!!!!

I posted this on my Phit-N-Phat journal that I post to almost daily which is like my electronic diary basically. I wanted to share these thoughts with blog world too.

So last night J and I were on our way home from a college baseball game and I looked at him and started laughing and said "In 5 days I am going to stand on stage in a BIKINI!" "I am a working mother of two kids who was miserable in my body for 12 years and started a diet at least every other Monday and NOW I am about to stand on stage in a bikini." REALLY? Is this really me? I just can't wrap my mind around it. I know I have prepped for this for 27 weeks now but as of today it is only 5 days away and it is about to happen. I simply cannot believe it.

My weight dropped to 128.4 yesterday morning and I was in awe. Just never dreamed in my life I would see a number like that. Then I just looked in the mirror at my small somewhat muscular frame and just starred at myself. This is my body. This is ME! It almost feels like a long dream, it really does.

I am so excited for the whole experience and to be able to do this with what I consider true friends who are all so AWESOME and who are achieving their goals and dreams is just so surreal.

I truly am in awe of my accomplishment.

8 days out!! Peak week approaching.

2010-06-04T15:28:00.002-05:00

Personal business real quick: TALIA, I got your comment. I am happy to help in anyway I can. Leave me another comment with your e-mail if you want and I will just contact you directly. I won't post your e-mail though to my comments page.

I am only 8 days out from the competition. WHOA!! It is seriously almost here. It will be next Saturday in the blink of an eye.

Oh, BIG NEWS...I broke into the 120's. I am at 129.6. WOOT!! The scale has dropped 2.4 pounds in the last 7 days. CRAZY!! My body finally just gave up from hanging onto it I guess.

So I have made it to the last week of competition prep. YAHOO!! They call this peak weak in the industry. HA!!

It is crazyness, you do a thing called a water deplete. I had no idea how this worked but now I do and I am sure there might be variations of it but here is what I will do:

I currently drink 1 gallon of water a day. Starting Monday through Thursday I will drink 2 gallons of water a day. As of Monday I will have NO more sweetner of any sort, no splenda, no crystal light, no Xtend (it has splenda) and no protein powder b/c it has artificial sweetner in it also. Then as of Thursday and Friday I eat chicken only that is boiled. I eat absolutely NO SODIUM whatsoever. Then Friday I drink 1 gallon of water up until 8pm then I quit drinking and the only thing I drink in a 24 hour period from 8 Friday night until after the comp Saturday night is 10 oz. of coffee for lunch on Saturday.

So basically I am dehydrated come Saturday for the show and I am just sucked dry as you might put it. My trainer says that not all bikini copetitors do this b/c it isn't always necessary and it was up to me if I wanted to do it or not. I decided to go for it. I want to get the whole experience and since I have come this far I might as well finish with a BANG! I know this will be tough and I am sure I have no idea how tough it will be. I will soon find out though.

The funny thing is that when I was training for the marathon I drank 2 gallons of water on average daily everyday for many many weeks and I purposefully ate lots of sodium b/c when you run long distances the last thing you want is to get dehyrated and cramp up. So you eat a lot of sodium then drink the water and you don't expel the water. It just soaks into your muscles I guess and hangs out for when you need it. What a different experience this will be.

I forgot to tell you that on Friday along with my boring chicken I get PEANUT BUTTER and rice cakes. Thank goodness, I will need something that taste good after a boring week of bland food with not much on it. Oh how I will miss my splenda on my eggs with my cinnamon and on my oatmeal with my cinnamon. It will be good for me though to show myself that I can go without it.

I did take progress pics this morning but I am not posting them. HAHAHAHAHAHA!! You only have to wait 9 more day for the finished product so that won't be bad.

I made it to the SINGLE DIGITS!!

2010-06-03T15:12:00.003-05:00

Only NINE days until I step on the stage for my bikini comp. WOW!!

It cannot get here fast enough either. I am SO READY!!

My scale weight is coming down all of the sudden. I am at 130 flat. I am certain I will see those 120's before all is said and done.

I just cannot believe it is almost here and this goal is almost a reality. It blows my mind that I have actually done this. I wasn't sure I could pull it off when I started this process 26 weeks ago. I thought I might be able to but honestly I was scared to death of the thought of sticking to such a strict eating plan for SO LONG and then doing all of the exercise that is needed. It hasn't been alone that is for sure. I have had support and encouragement all around me (that will be an entirely seperate blog). I am so thankful for that.

Still marking things off my to do list before I leave town. Lots to get done.

Headed to get my teeth cleaned now so I can have some pearly whites.

Weekend get-a-way to the BEACH!

2010-06-01T14:13:00.014-05:00

My husband surprised me with a weekend get-a-way to the beach in Gulf Shores, AL. This is a long 11 hour drive for us but it was TOTALLY WORTH IT and I would do it again. We both LOVE the beach and it is so relaxing and beautiful (well now until the oil gets there). We had such a good time together. We enjoy spending time together but often with the hustle and bustle of life you forget that or you don't get to spend hardly anytime along without 1000 things on your to do list. You all know how it is. Anyway, we took some time to ourselves to enjoy life and that is exactly what we did.

I enjoyed wearing a bikini on the beach for the very first time EVER!! I was a little self conscious of it in the beginning but then as I started to look around I realized that although I don't look perfect in my bikini...97% of the other women in their bikini DON'T EITHER!!! The very few that looked really good were teenagers or early to mid 20 year olds. This was a great realization in my mind and I am so glad I figured this out. I embraced my flaws and felt GREAT about my strong body characteristics.

I didn't get very many pics actually and J and I didn't even get one together. BOO. The time went by too fast but it was still worth it.

Here I am on the beach in my BIKINI!!! This is our little area we had set up. The white sand is powdery soft and so beautiful.

Here I am with a close up just enjoying the sites. Oh it was a little piece of heaven.

My beach drink of choice:

Read this book from time to time when I wasn't looking around or closing my eyes getting a little nap.

My view from my beach chair.

The sand between my toes.

My breakfast at the condo. Bought egg whites at the grocery store (with cinnamon and splenda mixed in them, my favorite). Brought pre-made pacs of oatmeal with cinnamon and splenda as well for 3 breakfast mornings. To drink I had water with grape Xtend that I talked about last week.

This is how a bikini competitor does it on the road. My tuna mixed up with some spicy southwestern mustard kept in the cooler in the back. This was actually 2 servings. One for now and one for later.

Sliced cucumbers. YUM!

My single serving of almonds so I don't eat too much.

To top off my great beach trip I weighed in on Friday before I left at a new all time low of 132. Then I decided to weigh this morning just for kicks. Travel almost always shoots up the scale but not this time. It said I was down 1.2 pounds to 130.8. WHOA!!! I could not believe it I guess that is happen when you stick to your food plan and your metabolism is on fire. WOOT! I will take it.

16 days and a couple of my faves!

2010-05-27T14:23:00.002-05:00

Only 16 more days until I hit that stage, hopefully NOT flat on my face b/c I have been practicing walking in my 5 inch heels. HA!! It has taken some practice though but I am getting better.

I am doing pretty well considering I eat 1200 cals a day and exercise anywhere from 1 hour to 2 hours a day. Average 1 1/2 most days. My energy level comes and goes. Some days it is really good and some days it seems as if it takes all my power to propel my legs forward. I have the most energy of my day around 6 AM right after my hour of cardio is done and then around 7 pm I get SLUGGISH! It is still worth it though and I am glad I am doing it and the best part is that the goal is almost accomplished. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and it is looking brighter and brigher with each passing day.

I have grown to love several foods (believe it or not) and several product. I thought I would share a couple of products with you that I like. As for food I, I love my egg white/cinnamon/splenda egg concosion big time. Enough that I will eat it long after the competition is over. I take a pic of them soon and show you.

Anyway, Xtend is a supplement that I really like, it is the branched chain amino acids (usually known as BCAA's) and glutamine combined. All of which are good things for people who exercise regularly. I am not going into what all they do for you b/c I would never get it all right so just google it. I mix 2 scoops of this with my water that I drink in the morning while I work out then I mix 2 more scoops with more water to drink as I get ready for the day and on my way to work. I have tried the orange which I really like and then now the grape and the grape is my favorite between the two. I have tried watermelon also and it was good. Grape is the best in my opinion.

Then we have protein powder. There are SO many options out there. As of now I am really enjoying Dymatize Elite Whey Protein Isolate. It has good nutritional stats and a great flavor. I buy most of my supplements like prot powd and the Xtend from bodybuilding.com I have found them to be a good value and quick shipping and if you order over $100 worth you get free shipping so make bigger orders less often and you save some money.

By the way, my husband is surprising me with a weekend get away beginning tomorrow. Can't wait to see where he is taking me. He did say to bring my swimsuit...my bikini that is. WOOT!

19 days until the stage!

2010-05-24T15:06:00.002-05:00

WOW BLOG WORLD, it is only NINETEEN DAYS until I step on the stage in a bikini. WHOA!

I cannot beleive that it is almost here. I know I say that every time but I just can't get over how fast the time has gone by.

I am doing pretty well for the most part. Every time I put in my bikini and I look in the mirrror my initial reaction is AMAZEMENT! Then I start really looking and I am like, oh this darn skin or those darn stretch marks or I still have fat pooching here or there. Then I have to re group and remind myself of where I started just 25 weeks ago and then where I was way before that at over 200 pounds and then I am thankful and proud of where I am now and how my body looks. From where I was I have TRULY TRANSOFORMED my body AND my mind. I feel GREAT!

I am trying to slowly mark things off my competition to do list. Not to mention that I will be traveling for 2 weeks post competition with my family. I am not stressing over that though. There is a Wal-Mart where we are going and I can buy anything we need when we get there. Just worrying about the competition first and foremost.

I have my suit
I have my shoes
I have ordered my tanning stuff and it should be here this week
I got my nails done (not something you have to do but I wanted to)
Got a pedicure and I will get nails and toes re-done right before I leave
I need to get my fake eyelashes at Wal-greens
I need to get my rolly suit case down from the attic to take everything that I need the day of the competition b/c you don't want to carry a bag on your shoulder and mess up your tan
Make up - one of my trainers is doing my make up Saturday morning and she has that so I am covered there
Jewelry - borrowing jewelry from one of my trainers in Nashville
Hair cut (trim) this Friday for the girls and I. YAY! Love a fresh hair cut.
Teeth - totally not on the list but it just so happens that I am getting my teeth cleaned on June 3rd about a week before I leave so my teeth will be nice and purty!
Tanning - still tanning as of now but will cut that out in about 2 weeks (1 week prior to the show)
Entry to comp - mailed entry last week for the competition and I will get another card that I need when I get there.
Hotel - booked and ready to go

FOOD!!! - The most important part. My trainer will be sending my last weeks meal plan in the near future so I can start planning for that. As soon as I step off the stage and the moment is right I am eating a shiny and crisp fuji apple with smuckers natural peanut butter on it. That is something that I ate on a daily basis for several years and I MISS IT BIG TIME!! Can't wait to sink my teeth into that. Plus some raw carrrots. I am taking those with me too. Oh the CRUNCH of an apple and carrots and my heavenly peanut butter!!!

That sums up the major parts of what I have gotten done or need to get done. Only 18 1/2 more days left to make this happen and only 16 days until I leave town. Oh I am getting SO EXCITED!

STOP the PRESS!! SIZE TWO!!!!!!!!

2010-05-20T09:19:00.005-05:00

You will not believe this. I went to Old Navy to look for a swimsuit b/c they are on sale. I saw the most darling denim mini skirt and I thought to myself "I love that, I am going to try it on in a size 6." I take that cute little mini skirt to the dressing room and slip it on and it is REALLY BIG! My husband is with me and I have him go get me a 4 and a 2. He comes back and I slip on that size TWO and button it right up and the rest is history. I actually put on a size TWO!! What another glorious moment for me. I was grinning from ear to ear and jumping up and down in the dressing room and my husband was just smiling with pride in his eye.

Now with all that being said above and YES, I am still taking credit for the size 2 and basking in the glory no matter what type of vanity sizing they have at certain stores. Putting on this size two has shown me one more important thing about this journey to be healthy and fit and that is (in my opinion only):

You need to be happy with what you see in the mirror...BOTTOM LINE. I now have a size 2, size 4, size 6, 8 and even a 10 and they ALL fit. Go figure! Sizes are NOT standard, which I am not complaining about that, can't change it so I won't worry about it but it just proves my point that the scale is no indication of your success and neither is a number on the tag of clothing. I think this is MORE important to realize when you do get close to what your goal size/weight/ look in the mirror is. As you are starting your jouney and moving down from a 20 to an 18 or from 230 pounds to 199 then my opinion is that you can put more emphasis on the sizes and the scale, but there comes a point when you can't do that any longer b/c you will constantly be dissappointed if you do. When you get closer to your goal it should be more about how you feel, and how you look when naked and also don't hold yourself to only what you think your mind is perfection and never compare yourself to someone else. You gotta go with you and be the best that you can be.

So enjoy those sizes as they go down and that scale as it moves down as well but don't put all your eggs in one basket b/c the mirror and your mind are your true measure of success.

Sincerely,

Bikini competitor Dawn who can wear a 2, 4, 6, 8 and a 10. HA!

26 days to go and progress pics

2010-05-17T14:13:00.010-05:00

As you probably remember on Saturday night I was going to have my last of my cheat meals. Just to re-cap I had rotel/cheese dip at home before I went to eat with my family. Then we had salad w/ ranch and crackers and PIZZA (it was my favorite part), then we had ice cream. I had cheesecake flavored with butterfinger mixed in. YUM! Then we had no bake cookies at my parenst house. Actually, as luck might have it my Mom doesn't measure ingredientd for her no bake cookies, she just puts a litte of this and a little of that in there and they had WAY too much cocoa in them and I didn't like them nearly as much as usual so I only ate 2 of those. Good thing though b/c I was STUFFED!! It was VERY VERY satisfying though and should tide my mind over for the next 26 days.

Here is the rotel cheese dip BEFORE:

Here is is AFTER!! Going in my belly. Please excuse my head being chopped off. Chloe took this.

Didn't get pictures at the pizza place b/c I was too busy stuffing my mouth. Here is the ice cream though and Lizzie with her blue cotton candy ice cream.

Chloe loves to take pictures with my camera so after my workout Sunday morning while we were eating breakfast she said "show me your muscles and I get your picture."

Then we had to take a pic of Chloe's muscles.

and last but certainly not least, Lizzie's muscles.

Here are my progress pics from this past Friday morning at 29 days out and 133 pounds.

29 days out!

2010-05-14T15:55:00.003-05:00

We are in the 20's for the countdown of days. I am in awe of how fast the time has flown by. I wanted it to go by fast and now I wish it would slow down just a tad. Oh well.

I took progress pics this morning and then my husband had to use the camera and he forgot to leave it with me to download the pics so I will have to post them on Monday.

I am gearing up for my cheat meal on Saturday, plus for the first part of the day I get more carbs and more calories. WOOT! I am going to have a HUGE stomach by the time bed times arrives. Typically my high carb day is on Friday but since I was doing the cheat on Saturday night we moved my high carb to that day instead which is totally fine. It should work out well.

I am still getting up at 4:50 every morning through the week to get in an AM cardio session. The last 2 mornings have not been very productive. I have been so sleepy and my energy has been in the drain. It has been rainy and dreary here so I know that is factoring into that. My better, more intense workouts have been during the day at lunch or at night at home so I am still good.

I will get up in the morning for a good hour of cardio before I embark on my food fest then I will come home after my evening cheat meal and bust out at least 30 minutes on the TM even if a slow walk is all I can muster from being so darn full.

I have thought about this cheat meal long and hard and here is what I have come up with. Since it will be 4 more weeks until I get another one I gotta make it good and make it very satisfying so here goes:

pre-dinner appetizer at my home shared with my husband and kids - Rotel/velveeta cheese dip and these crazy good crispy thin tortilla chips from the store that I love.

dinner - my favorite pizza place for small canadian bacon/shrimp salad with full fat ranch and capt. wafer crackers AND of course PIZZA, not sure what kind, maybe hamburger an mushroom and onion.

post dinner - small ice cream from my favorite frozen custard place. (typically get a medium but I have a 2nd post dinner this time)

post dinner #2 - homemade no bake cookies (you know the peanut butter/oatmeal/cocoa kind that you don't cook, they just set up) and a big ol' glass of milk. My Mom makes these and they are heaven on earth. I haven't had them in about 1 year at least so I am going to enjoy a few.

That's it. I will have ONE HUGE STOMACH after all of this not to mention the oatmeal and sweet pots that I will eat earlier in the day.

MUST WEAR ELASTIC PANTS!!

I promise to document it with pictures so you can see me enjoying the yummy goodness of fat filling, artery clogging foods that I still love, on occasion that is. Loving this lean, trim, less fat body a little bit more these days. HA

32 days. EEEEEEK!!!

2010-05-11T16:21:00.003-05:00

Good news: I have my competition suit. WOOT!

Bad news: I am NOT sharing it with the blogosphere. Nope, I am making you wait. I LOVE SURPRISES, I love getting them and giving them so you will have to wait until June 13th to see it (The day after my competiton when I post my pictures).

I will share this with you though so in all reality it won't be too much of a surprise. It is the same purple color of the suit that I posted before but it is a slighty different style in the top and the bottom. I LOVE IT!! It shows a little more skin but not too much and I feel super comfortable in it which is the key and I honestly feel like it looks GOOD!

This morning when I woke up and looked in the mirror BEFORE I stepped on the scale I felt SO GOOD. I felt like I finally had made it to the point that I was certain I am going to make it to the stage and feel good about how I look. Then I stepped on the scale just to see what it said and it was at all all time low of 133.4. I will write it down and move on.

If there is one thing that this process has taught me it is for me to put NO VALUE in the scale. Step on it if I wish from time to time but it just has no value for me. I need to go by how I look and how I feel and ask myself those questions that Skwigg referred to in her blog that I posted last week. That just applies to me in so many ways. I am glad I have finally realized that the scale does not control me and simply isn't the judge of how I look and how I feel. It has taken me a long time to figure that out though. Better late than never.

I will though post some more progress pics maybe next week in my black/white bikini just so you can see how I am coming along. That might be the last time I post them though. Again, I LOVE SURPRISES!!!

Oh, get this. I GET A CHEAT MEAL!!! My trainer, Tim at Structure Fit, apparently thought I looked good enough today in my progress pics and he told me I could have one this weekend. WOOT! So pizza and ice cream it is. MY FAVE!! I figured my last cheat meal would be my last one but now I am thinking this one will be. I can do it though. Only 32 days left and after Saturday (when I am going to eat the pizza and ice cream) gets here there will only be like 28 days left. OMG!!!! Seriously, it is almost here!!!!! I can't wait!!!!!

Scale obsessed? Read this!

2010-05-07T16:28:00.003-05:00

I have followed this blog, Skwigg for several years now and have always really enjoyed her humor and knowledge. Yesterday she wrote a blog from a question that she was asked about the scale and being too concerned with the number. I love her answer and her approach to the behaviors and the questions that she says to ask yourself. I am going to copy and paste it here but please know that this is not mine and I do not take credit for it. Give credit where credit is due to Skwigg. Go check out her site. She has tons of healthy eating and exercise information and links to lots of other blogs that offer the same info.

Scale Anxiety
Question she was asked:

I have become very obsessed with my weight. It's to the point where I avoid some social interactions around food. Vacations make me anxious and nutty.
Two years ago I leaned down to 135lbs at 5'10" and hold myself to that standard daily even though I'm a much healthier weight of 148-150lbs now. It was a weight I probably shouldn't have been. Now It freaks me out that nothing fits. I refuse to buy larger sizes because I'm hoping to get back into the smaller clothes....AHHHHH insanity.
Can you recommend a book that helps address some of these issues? I'm at my wits end and would very much like my life back.

Answer from Skwigg:

If you find a book that addresses such issues, I could probably use a copy too! :-)

Things started getting weird when my weight dropped into the 120s (at 5'8"). Once I saw those low numbers, I didn't want to see them go up again. "I weigh 128," I said. "I weigh 128."

Well, realistically, I weighed 128 for like a week and a half and it wasn't exactly comfortable to keep it that low day in day out. But when I started seeing 131, 132 instead of being all like "Weeee! I'm still tiny and fit!!" I went, MUST. NOT. GAIN. I started doing weird things like not drinking water at night, or running a few miles before I got on the scale. I know! Flashing red lights! Aarr! Aarr! Aarr! Danger! Danger!

The number fixation reminds me of that time I made it to work in seven minutes. Since then I tell myself, "I live seven minutes from work." Never mind that I'm always late when I cut it that close. Once my little brain latches onto a number it's like a parrot, "I live seven minutes from work. I weigh 128. Braaawk!!" Neither is totally true. And trying to live by those numbers will only result in scale anxiety and speeding tickets.

I don't remember who but somebody smart said to focus on behaviors, not outcomes. That way you're dealing with things you can control, not fairies and unicorns and scale numbers.

Am I:
Enjoying my workouts?
Getting enough sleep?
Eating mostly healthy whole foods?
Drinking plenty of water?
Watching my portions?
Having fun?

If I'm doing those things then that's all I need to do. Put the behaviors first. If you put the numbers first, then your behaviors will suck. They'll be a panicked reaction to the scale instead of a truly healthy lifestyle.

I've learned (and evidently needed a reminder!) that when I'm happy and balanced, my weight takes care of itself effortlessly. When I'm living for the numbers and trying to force a specific outcome, it creates all kinds of anxiety. The bad thing about an anxious food kook is the urge to medicate the feeling with MORE FOOD, creating even more anxiety, guilt and pressure to get it together.

Focus on who you want to be and how you want to feel. Your weight will land in an appropriate happy place.

Loose skin

2010-05-06T14:00:00.004-05:00

I had a fellow blogger ask me about my loose skin and if I had any (she said it didn't look like I had any...BLESS HER) so I thought I would tell you my thoughts on it and about the loose skin that I do in fact have.

My loose skin problem areas are on my mid section near my belly button and then my lower belly pooch that is often hid by underwear or a bikini bottom in this case. Also, under my arms, you know the wings and then my inner thighs have some also. The arms and thighs are not as noticeable unless you are really looking me over. The belly to me is noticeable in a bikini obviously, it just looks like wrinkled skin basically. Now as I told my friends at Phit-N-Phat, thankfully a bikini competition is done STANDING UP. When I sit down or lean over the skin is in rolls or hangs down so it is absolutely there. This is just caused from years of being overweight and then 2 babies after that didn't help it any (not that I would take back the kids of course but I would take back the years of being overweight if I could do it all over again.)

There is no magic when it comes to loose skin. There are minor things you can do though to help it that I have experienced and tried myself.

1) PRAY that you have good skin genes. You can't change this of course you just hope good skin runs in your family.

2) STRENGTH TRAIN. This is probably the biggest key in my book. Build that muscle under neath the skin then it kind of fills out the skin and you don't have as much hanging.

3) Lose your weight slowly (which most of us do if you lose weight by eating healthy and exercising). That way the skin has time to slowly shrink back down.

4) If you are overweight, START today on dropping the fat, the longer you are overweight the more loose skin you will have b/c it just doesn't bounce back like it used to as we age.

As far as over the counter and supplements go here is what I do:

1) I take 1 vitamin E supplement (pill) per day. Vitamin E is good for your skin and elasticity.

2) I use a homemade scrub made up of 5 pound bag of sugar, 1 small container of Vitamin E oil and 1 medium size container of Almond Castille soap. I use an empty protein powder container and I put all of these ingredients in there together and then I get a wooden spoon and mix it up and I just leave it in the shower. Everyday I use it all over my body. It keeps the dead skin exfoliated and the vitamin E oil and soap moisturize your skin wonderfully. So with this I am putting Vit E oil ON my skin as well as IN my body with the supplement. I buy the vit E oil at Target and the almond castille soap comes from a health food store.

3) I also use an over the counter skin firming lotion like Nivea or Jergens.

None of these things are cure alls, unfortunately, I think the supplements, scrub and lotion have helped my skin in a very small way but it is better than it not being helped at all.

To be honest my skin looks SO SO SO MUCH better than I thought it would at this point in my journey. I have always been very concerned about it and how ugly it is and for some reason I don't even notice it that much anymore. Believe it or not I am more focused on the positive things about my body and how much smaller it is and my many muscles that are popping out. Those are the things I see now instead of the loose skin that is there. I do the things that are in my control at the moment to help it, the things I listed above, and then what skin is left hanging is simply left hanging. It is a reminder that it was once filled with nasty un-healthy fat and I will take the loose skin over the fat any day.

Beach bikini! WOOT!

2010-05-04T13:21:00.007-05:00

So I found a bikini at Target the other day that I felt really good in that I thought I could wear at the beach with my family. FINALLY!! So here it is. It is black/white checked in case you can't tell what color it is.

Bikini opton #2 = FAIL!

2010-04-29T14:34:00.002-05:00

So I was so excited to get this other bikini that I ordered. It came in the mail yesterday and I rushed home to try it on and it is a NO GO!!!

It did not fit. WAY TO SMALL. I couldn't even take a picture of it to put on my blog b/c well you just don't want to see those parts of me that were falling out of it.

Plus, it does not look anything like the picture in my opinion. It is not nearly as bright and shiny and this model must be the tinyest thing ever and of course we see her perky boobs and maybe that suit would be fine if you had those...I DO NOT have those.

Here is what it looks like on the absolute perfect body:

Purple bikini option #1

2010-04-27T16:36:00.008-05:00

Here is one option of a bikini for the competition. I do have a different type of bottom that I might go with if I choose this purple one it ties on the sides and is a tad more skimpy. I want to feel comfortable on stage but I also want to fit in with everyone else so I am going to think about which bottoms I might go with. You know my chest has always been a source of concern and if they would fit in a bikini top like I wanted. Well they have MAJORLY shrunk over the past few weeks and I can stuff them in some tops like nobody's business. This top does have considerable coverage but I do feel comfortable in it and I think it is still cute so I like that about it.

I have one more suit coming in the mail on Wednesday and I really LOVE it (according to the picture at least) and I am very anxious to try it on to see how it fits. Will post pictures of that one later this week (if it fits like I hope it does). You would think that with the 1000's of suits that are out there that I could find more than 2 that seemed appealing but I CAN'T. Especially, not being able to try them on in a store. The ones in the stores around me just aren't attractive at all for a bikini competition and hardly just for wearing on the beach as far as I am concerned.

Did you get your tickets...

2010-04-26T16:22:00.001-05:00

for the GUN SHOW?????

Also, just a teaser, that is the top to one of my potential bikini competition suits. I will post the full length view tomorrow.

WHY am I doing this. 50 days out!

2010-04-23T14:31:00.004-05:00

I am at 50 days. WHOA!! That means in 7 weeks from tomorrow I should be standing on stage in a bikini. CRAZY!

I have been doing average. I have struggled with my food a bit in the past week. Having no control with the jar of peanut butter at home for 3 out of the last 7 nights. I have since got rid of the peanut butter and I will not be buying anymore of it until June 13th. If my kids want it then they can get it at my parents house. They will live.

I am 100% back on track with the food though now and my exercise is still going strong.

I still believe that I am going to make it to the stage.

WHY?

I think that people often wonder "Why in the world would you want to do something like this?" People often comment on how much weight I have lost or how small I have gotten and then I tell them and they are typically in shock (which I completely understand b/c it is a little shocking to me for those words to come out of my mouth...bikini competition). They usually say "Wow" or "Neat". They just don't know how to respond and I totally get that. It is a strange thing to hear from a middle 30 aged person with 2 kids. I mean why would I have the slightest desire to stand on stage in a bikini.

Well here you go, there are several answers to this really good question:

1) As soon as I completed the full marathon last March, 2009 (just a few days following it) I wondered in my mind what I could do next. What next big goal would be on my agenda. I have done a full marathon so the sky is the limit for me is what I was thinking at the time. Coming off a marathon HIGH is AWESOME. I know there are other things like it but I had not experienced anything like that before so I thought the world was mine for the taking. I have some friends from Phit-N-Phat that have competed before.. Corinne, Carla and Lisa. I remember thinking to myself that if Corinne can do a figure competition then I can too. She also ran the marathon with me. So I planted the seed in my mind that I just might want to do a competition in the near future.

2) I wanted to drop my fat percentage. I was not disappointed in my weight at the time around 150ish. It did go up to 158 towards the end of the marathon training but I was decently comfortable in a siz3 8's and 10's BUT I still wanted to lose a little more fat. I had maintained a weight from 150-155 for 2 years and I was fine there but wanted to push it a little and see if I could lose some fat and let the scale fall where it would.

3) I am a dilly dallyer. I just am. I know this about myself. I don't get around to things very well at times. I just kind of hem haw around and get to things when I get to them. I knew if I wanted to drop the fat I would need a BIG goal to get me to where I wanted to be.

4) So with all of those things together, wanting to push myself beyond what I think I am capable of like I did with the marathon and wanting to drop some fat and knowing I may not ever get around to doing it if I don't just put myself out there and commit to something of this magnitude that is why I decided to go for a bikini competition. There are other divisions like figure and bodybuilding but I felt like bikini was the best one for me at this time. You are toned and lean but not too toned (you just don't have to have as much muscle to look like you fit in) and not as lean as a figure competitor at least they don't look it anyway. Not that I don't like the figure competition part b/c I do and who knows I might do one of those one of these days but for now it is just making it to the stage in a bikini and being proud of my results.

Also, I know I am not going to win. That isn't at all what this is about for me. When I set out to do the marathon I never once thought that I would come in first place or even 1000th or even 3000th place. It was about committing to it, putting in the training time and starting and finishing the race with a smile on my face the whole way and then never forgetting the feeling of crossing that glorious finish line.

That is my goal with the bikini comp, I intend to be the BEST ME that I possibly can. The stage is just a place to show myself that I acheived that and I did what I set out to do. I hope I inspire some people along the way and show them that it is NEVER too late to change your life and to become healthy and fit and have the body, mind and healthy heart you always wanted. I am living proof. BELIEVE IT...BE IT!

Muscles and Bones!

2010-04-20T15:57:00.002-05:00

This title might seem a little strange but I have to tell you guys that I HAVE MUSCLES AND I HAVE BONES!! Some of them are protruding a lot more than they used to (muscles and bones that is) and I have discovered A LOT more of them (muscles and bones that is). THIS IS GREAT!!

A few weeks ago I was laying down in bed on my back and I felt my pelvic or hip bone and I grabbed J's hand and said "feel this." HA, not sure what he thought, well I know what he was thinking but instead I had him feel of my hip bones, they were RIGHT THERE and sticking out. WOW!! I have hip bones and you can see them and feel them very well especially when I am laying down. He wasn't nearly as excited about my hip bones as I was.

Then when I was putting lotion on the other morning I disovered I have those bones in my lower back (I actually think they are the back of the pelvis), there are two of them and they feel kind of round. WOW, who knew!

Then my clavicle(collar bone) is totally protruding. I know it has always been there but DANG, you can really see it now.

Now onto the even bigger and better part, the muscles surrounding those bones. I have some serious biceps people. I love flexing them. J laughs at me all of the time b/c I am like "feel this, look at this, check this out." HA OH and I have so already talked about my leg muscles, my favorite ones actually, LOVE EM'.

Just think, all of these wonderful body parts were hidden under all of those layers of fat for all of those long years. NOT ANYMORE!! They have all come out to play! WOOT WOOT!

Progress pics

2010-04-15T16:27:00.005-05:00

These are actually my progress pictures from this past Monday, April 12, 2010. I know you guys are tired of seeing me in my underwear/bra. I am just NOT a shopper. I will go get a bathing suit for my upcoming beach vacation in the near future, I promise. It will be at some point before I leave town but for now this will just have to do. I mean there really isn't much difference in a bikini and your underwear/bra anyway, right?

The scale on the day these pictures were taken says 135.6. My lowest weight I have seen is 134 flat. Still nothing lower. I am working through that though and just keeping on keeping on. As I have said before I can't let the scale be the determining factor of my success and you shouldn't either. PLEASE remember that if you are on the path to less fat, the scale is ONE VERY SMALL measure of your progress.

I don't really look like a bikini competitor yet (not sure if I ever will) but I look DAMN GOOD FOR ME that is for sure. Check out my legs... I LOVE MY LEGS!! That is my best feature by far. Maybe during the competition I can put lots of sparkly things on them or something so you are just automatically drawn to them and don't notice the rest of me as much. Hmmmm.

OH and just in case you missed my previous post...I CAN WEAR A SIZE FOUR!!!!!! WOOT!

MONUMENTAL MILESTONE!

2010-04-13T13:55:00.005-05:00

Friday night was the night that I had an amazing thing happen along my health and fitness journey. I slid on a pair of size FOUR jeans. SIZE 4 PEOPLE!!! Let's just count this together and see how fast we can get there, 1, 2, 3 4. WOOT! You can even count it on one hand!!!
This was truly an amazing moment for me.

I have been able to get into 6's and I only have 1 pair of those that my Mom bought me a few weeks ago. I have not been clothes shopping in months (I am not a big shopper at all, although it is MUCH more enjoyable now than it was about 50 pounds ago). I had a Bachelorette party to go to Saturday night so I thought it would be a good excuse to get a new shirt and an new pair of jeans. Friday after work, J picked up the girls and I went to the mall alone. Went to JcPenney's. I found some jeans and I thought to myself, I am going to grab a 6 and a 4 and just see how close I am to getting into the 4's. Well, I tried those on first just for kicks, WELL GET OUT OF TOWN THOSE THINGS SLIPPED RIGHT ON and buttoned right up with no muffin top or anything. Water filled my eyes as I stood in the dressing room. I wanted to run out into the store yelling "four, four, four" but I refrained. Instead I took a cell phone picture of them and sent it to a few people and got some quick exciting responses back. WOW!! Talk about tears of joy. I just could not believe my eyes. I also tried on the 6 just for good measure and they were loose. I needed the FOUR. I just had to confirm that I really needed the FOUR and I DID!

Just as a reminder to all of you to look at my sidebar. I used to be that over 200 pound girl who wore a size TWENTY and an XXL!!! Now I can sport a size 4 and a medium and some smalls. I NEVER dreamed I would be where I am today. This was not overnight and this was not even in one year (although, I believe you could get there in 1 year if you truly wanted to). This has been a major work in progress and taking small baby steps the entire way and learning as I go and getting better and better at my lifestyle as the days go by. This is a TRUE REWARD for me and by gosh, I deserve it! I kept staring at my jeans all weekend from time to time just thinking how small they were and how they fit ME! DANG, I FEEL GOOD!!!

I remember back when I was so overweight and tears would come to my eyes it seems almost daily when I would get dressed b/c of how fat I was and nothing looked good or could hide my rolls. To be at the point that I am now is almost undescribable. I wish everyone could exprience this feeling once in their life. We ALL deserve it, not just me. GO FOR YOUR GOALS people, it is SO SO SO WORTH IT!!

I have no idea if after the competition comes and goes if I will still be able to wear a size 4, if I do I do and if I don't I don't but no one can ever take away this glorious moment for me. I will remember this always.

I lied and weekend plan.

2010-04-09T10:38:00.002-05:00

No progress pics today. I was so ready to take them then I thought I left my camera at work then I get to work and it isn't here so now I have to go find it. I think it might be at home in a drawer, not certain though. I know I have put it somewhere but I just can't remember where that somewhere is.

I have a busy but fun weekend planned that I am really looking forward to. Saturday morning I will exercise and then the girls and I will head to a state park near us and we will hike. Chloe is a part of a group called Jr. Master Gardners and they are doing this hike so Lizzie and I are going along. I think it is more like a stroll on a nice trail so Lizzie should be able to do it too. Then we eat a bag lunch that I will take with us then we will head to a lake marina that is near by. Jeremy is fishing in a tournament and we will go watch the weigh in Saturday afternoon and we hope and pray that he has some fish to weigh in. Time will tell on that though. THEN the girls are staying the night with my parents and I am going to a BACHELORETTE PARTY!! It is for a great friend from high school and I am just thrilled that she is getting married to a great guy in the near future. This should be fun.

Sunday will be church then some relaxing and food prep for the week. Oh and I am NOT exercising on Sunday. Trainer said to take a day of rest so I follow orders so I will enjoy sleeping in a bit. Sunday evening I go to another good friends birthday dinner that her parents have for her every year. I won't be able to partake in all of the food but I can eat some salad and then I think I might have some of the homemade meatballs. I might take my own veggie or something with me. The meal consist of salad, spaghetti w/ meatballs and sausage and then angel food cake/strawberries/homemade cool whip for dessert. I will be happy with salad and meatballs though.

Anyway, so there you have my weekend plans. Just have to stay away from the snacks and the alcohol at the Bachelorette party Saturday night.

64 days and a daughters perspective

2010-04-08T13:20:00.005-05:00

9 weeks from TODAY I will be in my car bound for Nashville,TN to meet up with some friends and then head to Chattanooga on Friday morning for the competition. We are really coming down to the wire. I am feeling good about it though. I hope to post some progress pics tomorrow actually. Then I will probably post some in about 2 more weeks then I just might have to make you guys wait until the competition for some more. I have to keep the suspense a little bit to keep things exciting, right?

I have GOT to order my bikini for the comp. I have a few that I want to try to see how they work on my body. Hopefully, one of them will be a keeper.

Exercise has been VERY consistent as well as my food. Tomorrow (Friday) is my high carb and high calorie day. I get to consume 2000 calories and over 250 grams of carbs. Healthy carbs of course but I will be in heaven and my stomach will be big which is why I will take the pics in the morning before I consume these calories/carbs.

You will be glad to know that I have been practicing walking in my shoes. It is NOT easy. I just hope I can look natural in them at some point b/c as of now I just walk funny in them. I have been walking around in the kitchen in them while I cook and my kids think it is so funny.

Oh get this, so Chloe's pre-school teacher said "I hear you are doing a bikini competition." She said Chloe was talking to one of her friends the other day at school and the teacher over heard their conversation it went like this:

Friend: "My Mom and I shared a muffin this morning."

Chloe: "Are you on a diet?" (not sure why she asked this in response to her friend saying she shared a muffin. Also, just for the record, around our house we do use the word diet often just out of habit but it is used in the terms of our diet as in "we eat a healthy diet" and not like "we are on a diet." you get what I am saying? I am NOT a fan of teaching your kid that they need to be on what Americans think of as a diet. ok, onto the rest of my story, I just wanted to clear that up.)

Friend: "I don't know, what is a diet"

Chloe: "When you eat healthy food." (Yea, looks as if we are successful with our definition of a diet, perfect, she gets it)

Friend: "Yea, we are."

Which for some reason leads to Chloe saying: "My Mom is getting ready for a bikini competition and she walks around in her high heel shoes and poses."

HAHAHAHA

A kids perspective. At least she is watching what I do I guess and yes, I do walk around in my high heel shoes and I practice posing. Girls, gotta practice, right?

I told the teacher that Chloe was probably REALLY thinking "My MOM ain't gonna eat NO MUFFIN." HA

Speaking of posing, Chloe has the signature Phit-N-Phat pose down just right, hands on hips and one leg out.

The REAL countdown begins

2010-04-06T14:33:00.004-05:00

I have changed my countdown strategy to DAYS now instead of weeks. I am 67 days out. SCARY!! That does not seem like very long at all. I am truly just taking it even more day to day now than I was before.

Here is my strategy:
1) stick 100% to the food plan. No waivering, not even 1 extra almond or one extra ounce of this or that.

2) exercise EVERYDAY for 67 more days (unless I am sick of course, can't plan that). By the way in March I exercised 27/31 days. I am pleased with that.

3) STAY POSITIVE! This is key. If my mind gets weak then my body gets weak and it is just a bad situation all around. I CAN DO THIS! I have come so far and changed my body so much, I will see this through until the end.

4) CHILL OUT!! I have got to chill out. This is not life or death. This is a lofty goal that I set for myself and I am well on my way of making it a reality and I can totally do this. I must quit stressing out over this, if my body doesn't transform like I hope and if I were to not make it to the stage it is completley fine, I still have transformed my body in a way I never imagined I would and my vacation will still go on as planned immediately after the competition. Life is GOOD. I need to remember that.

Oh, I am still not weighing. I most likely will weigh on Friday morning before my 2000 calorie food day just for the heck of it but it will NOT SWAY MY POSITIVE ATTITUDE! I AM CHILL!

10 weeks out!

2010-04-02T10:17:00.004-05:00

I am 10 weeks out as of tomorrow from the BIKINI STAGE!!! I knew it would go by fast but it is going by SO MUCH faster than I ever thought it would.

Am I ready for it to get here? YES!!

Am I ready for it to be over with and get back to normal eating and exercise life? DOUBLE YES!

Do I think I am going to make it ? 99% of the time I do, I still have this 1% doubt b/c no matter how much I exercise and how well I stick to my eating plan I have no idea how my body will respond. Remember it was content at 185-210 pounds for 12 years of my life and I cannot predict how it will transform and I have no idea what it will look like 10 weeks from now.

Do I hope I make it? HELL YEA!!! To do ALL of this hard work and sacrifice and not be able to walk on that stage in those stripper heels and a hot bikini would break my heart. To put so much effort into something and then not be able to see it through, well we all know that just SUCKS. Therefore, I will not think about that now. All I am focusing on IS walking across that stage.

I know I have discussed this before but I am going to talk about it again...THE SCALE!!

This is me:

Well this isn't really me but it is how I feel when I get on the scale in the mornings. GEEZ LOUISE is what I am thinking. Yes, for the last several weeks I have let the scale be the determining factor of my success. NOT ANY LONGER! I am stepping away from the scale for days and possibly weeks until I just feel like I have to or my trainer wants a scale report (which he doesn't care about the scale much at all so he will most likely be fine with no report).

It is SO STUPID to let a piece of equipment be the deciding factor on if you are being successful. I can't believe I let it get to me so much but I have and the solution to fix the issue is just not to weigh. The mirror, the clothes, the tape measure and my mind are the deciding factor on if I am doing what I need to do. Not a number on the scale that takes into account, fat, muscle, water, what I just ate, water retention, hormones and the list goes on. I need to quit giving a number on a machine so much power. This vicious cycle is stopping now. WOOT! I feel free!

Speaking of me, here I am for real this morning. Chloe took this picture of me, she loves using the camera now. She almost cut part of my head off and it is a tad blurry and my face is shiny too (girl needs some powder) but this will do. Feeling good in my size 6 jeans. WOOT!

Here are Chloe and Lizzie this morning too. Sweet sisters!

Come on FOCUS, I need ya now!

2010-03-29T12:50:00.005-05:00

I have been MIA for several days. Work has been crazy busy then home life is ALWAYS crazy busy with two little munchkins running around. One of my sweet munchkins, Lizzie, will turn THREE on Thursday, April 1st. WOW WOW WOW!! My how the good times fly by. Can't believe she is THREE.

I am doing well. The scale moved down this week FINALLY to 134 flat on Saturday morning. WOOT!! I can tell too in my updated pictures. I am just getting smaller and smaller as the weeks go by and I have 11 weeks left before the competition.

I am 11 weeks out and I am READY for it to be here. It is getting harder as each day goes by. Keeping up with all of the exercise and keeping the food focus is TOUGH! I am not caving with the food by any means, I will not eat anything not on my plan, I feel confident about that BUT I have to fight myself constantly with it. I DO NOT regret making this committment at all and I know it is going to be 100% worth it (it is already worth it) but I tell ya I cannot wait to get back to normal everyday healthy balanced eating and a more normal liveable exercise schedule. I CANNOT WAIT!

Speaking of foods, you get a little deseperate for something other than meat or veggies so I made a protein cake concoction and it is GOOD and is like a bread/cake consistency. It helps hit the spot a little. I had attempted it before with water but finally realized you gotta use egg whites and it does so much better.

Recipe:
1 scoop of protein powder of choice (I have cake batter and I have tried chocolate too)
1-2 egg whites (do one and then add one more if needed, you just wanted it blended well)
1/2 tsp of baking soda
I add cinnamon just b/c I love cinnamon but you don't have to.

mix prot powd, egg whites and baking soda together and put in glass bowl and microwave for 2 minutes.

Then I take mine out and put additional cinnamon and some splenda on it. YUM! I think peanut butter would be good on it too if you can eat that.

I have pictures of this but they aren't posting. I will have to do that later. Plus, I might post an updated pic of me too.

CHEAT MEAL!!!!

2010-03-23T07:59:00.004-05:00

As you know I had a much needed cheat meal on Saturday night. I had been looking so forward to this for WEEKS and it did not disapoint. We went to my favorite pizza place and we had a shrimp/canadian bacon salad w/ FULL FAT ranch and crackers and then we had some pizza dip, it was SO GOOD and that totally satisfied my chip/dip craving that I always love and then it was time for the mushroom and hamburger pizza. It was DELICIOUS and totally hit the spot. Here I am with my BIG grin and my pizza. I only ate 2 slices of a small pizza so when I left there I was FULL but not miserable. YEA!! I was really worried about eating myself sick but I did not do that.

Lizzie wanted her picture taken with her pizza. Isn't she the cutest?

THEN...we went to my favorite ice cream place which actually serves chocolate and vanilla frozen custard so it is very creamy. I got what they call a concrete with chocolate custard and choc. chip cookie dough mixed in it. It was SO GOOD. Heaven on earth I call it.

I so appreciated this food a lot more since it had been so long since I have had it. I still like my clean healthy food though but to eat this on occasion is such a treat and something that you should do for yourself. Just think this food used to be my everyday food. Seriously, there was a time after this ice cream place openened that I went there THREE times a week, then I finally made myself cut down to two and then one time a week and now even when not prepping for a competition I still only go about once every 2-3 months if that. Hmmm, and I wonder why I was over 200 pounds...GO FIGURE!

Food, body fat and exercise.

2010-03-19T12:55:00.008-05:00

I eat a lot of egg whites, chicken, veggies and protein powder...it can get old after a while so I do what I can to change things up or spice things up from time to time so that I can endure it for 12 more weeks (12 weeks out as of tomorrow. EEEK!).

I bought some new protein powder, cake batter flavored. I made some protein pancakes from a recipe that I got from another blog, The Weigh I Am. The protein powder was her suggsetion also and I LIKE IT!! She used cinnmon roll prot powder though and I used cake batter flavored. you can use any flavor though and she also uses coconut oil which I have heard is GOOD and I don't have any of that.

Regardless with my substittuions the protein pancakes still were very tasty: The brand of protein is Muscle Gauge Nutrition and I have heard the other flavors are very good as well. One of the plusses of this prot powd is that they use stevia as sweetener and not aspartame or some other not as heatlhy sweetener.

And for some sugar free, competition friendly maple syrup check this out that Genie figured out how to make. I havn'et made it yet but you can bet that I intend to.

I also got a recipe from Becca for a stir fry with egg whites. I made this the other night. YUM!! I also ate it last night so two nights in a row I liked it so much. Becca makes hers with a can of chop suey veggetables that you guy in the chinese food isle at the grocery store. I whipped up my own veggies at home with an onion, green bell pepper, cabbage and cauliflower and satueed them with olive oil spray and put in some soy sauce. Then I cooked 1 cup of egg whites scrambled and added some soy sauce to that then topped the egg whites with the veggies and OH SO GOOD!!! Becca also puts red pepper flakes on hers and I did that to mine last night and really liked it.

The egg whites give you the protien and take the place of the rice at the same time. This will be a new staple in my meal plan.

Body fat:
I took my body fat several months ago with an Omron handheld tester. Those things are not completely accurate at all but I obviously was hoping and assuming that it would go down over time even if the number wasn't correct.

There was a point in time in the summer that I took it and it registered at 33.8%
Then I took it again on October 30th and it was 31.9%
I took it Wednesday morning and it said 26.8%

SO YEA!! I am thrilled with the downward trend. I am pretty sure it wasn't as high to begin with and now it is even a tad lower than 26.8. I think the only really accurate thing to do is to do the submerged under water test or the bod pod thing but I don't know where I can do that around here and I am not sure I would want to pay for it. So I will just go with the Omron and hopefully watch the percentage get even lower.

Exercise:
My goal for March was to execise EVERY DAY!! Well, I haven't done that but I have gotten very close. Out of the 19 days in March so far I have exercised 16 of them. One of the three days that I missed I was not feeling well, one of them was last week on Thursday and I actually did do 20 minutes of cardio in the morning but I was SO TIRED that I went to lay back down on the couch. Then the third day I missed was this past Sunday after we got back from our weekend trip and I was tired and just opted out. so overall I am SO PLEASED with my 16 out of 19 days. I plan to continue and finish out the month strong!

I am slowly shrinking!

2010-03-15T16:20:00.004-05:00

I am getting there slowly but surely. Let's just hope there are enough days in the next 13 weeks and I make it to the stage.

I have followed Tim's ordered and NOT weighed myself although it is hard to not do that b/c I am in such a habit of it. I think it is best for my mind. It was really getting to me that it wasn't moving down when the true reality is that I just need to look smaller. That is it. If I am small enough at 130 pounds then so be it. After taking some progress pics this morning and comparing them to 2 weeks ago on March 1st I truly saw that the scale isn't the end all be all.

I hope you can see the changes that I see in the pics. On March 1st I was at 136 and today I should be close to the same thing if not the same thing. Possibly 135 on the scale (but I wouldn't know b/c I am not stepping on that scale).

PERSEVERANCE!

2010-03-12T10:17:00.002-06:00

per·se·ver·ance - steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., esp. in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.

THIS IS ME!!! In spite of the scale plateauing for what seems like forever but what has actually been about 3 -4 weeks I am still keeping on keeping on.

My exercise has been GREAT and consistent. My food has been completely on target with no wavering. My body is looking better I believe but the scale shows none of that. Which is why I do know it is only one small measure of success and when I say small I mean very very tiny.

It is bound to move when it is good and ready and like Becca said, when you are on stage no one knows your weight which is an excellent point and something I need to remember.

Tim has laid down the law and said NO WEIGHING! DO NOT STEP ON THE SCALE!! So that is what I will do.

We are headed out of town this weekend overnight for a get away with some friends. We are going to watch some state title basketball games. Both boys and girls teams from our town are in the games and then a neighboring towns boys team also so we are going to cheer them on. Oh, and we are hitting up the horse races while we are there too. A couple of days with friends and no kids. WOOT!! Should be fun. I do have ALL of my food packed for tonight and all day tomorrow and I have my workout clothes with me to get in some cardio outside in the morning. I will do some running/walking on the golf course that we are staying near. NO REST for a bikini competitor. HA!

Have a great weekend ya'll and thank you again for all of the continued support and encouragement from those that comment on my blog to those that comment to me in person.

Randomness

2010-03-11T13:31:00.002-06:00

I don't really have anything important to say, I don't guess I ever do but I just thought I would check in here and let you know things are just moving along although they seem like they are creeping like the slowest turtle you know.

My weight hasn't budged my trainers tell me not to worry that it will come off. My husband swears I look smaller. I will just take his word for it.

For 2 weeks my body was adjusting to my new menu with some more carbs then now that has been taken away b/c I wasn't seeing progress on it so now I am adjusting to a much lower carb plan and today it took its toll with me being VERY SLEEPY this morning. SO SO SLEEPY!! I am thinking it will pass though when my body gets adjusted again. I did really well with the lower carb meal plan for 12 weeks so I will get back to feeling better.

I have been told to push the weights even more and lift heavier. I can do that. I have been at this for 15 weeks so I just gotta keep pushing my body a little more and more to get it to make the changes that it needs to. I am too close to stop now. 13 weeks will be here before we know it.

See, I told you this was random, I don't have much to report. I hope everyone is doing well.

Sickness and running

2010-03-09T14:18:00.002-06:00

I was a tad under the weather on Sunday afternoon and Monday with some achiness, weakness and chills but I never had a fever. YEA. I seem to be on the mend today so hopefully I will continue this trend and be back to 100% by Thursday. My kids, Mom and Dad and husband all got a stomach bug and I am thinking my body might have been fighting it. Let's hope that is what it was at least and I beat it down and I am moving on.

The dang brief illness did put a hinge in my consistent exercise but such is life and I am fine with it. I had a GREAT workout on Saturday and Sunday and then I took Monday off. I was back up this morning taking it easy on the treadmill for 30 minutes though. I felt good enough to do that and my mind was glad I did it too.

Oh, speaking of exercising on Sunday. It was such nice weather that towards the end of my workout inside I said to myself "what I am doing in here?" I decided to hit the neighborhood for a mile run. IT WAS GREAT!! The weather was PERFECT and I felt so good getting out there for a good run. No dogs harrased me either which was bonus.

One of the biggest things I noticed was my weight. Last year (it was 1 year ago by the way almost to the date) when I ran the full marathon I weighed in at 158. Today I weigh in at 135ish and the difference in those 23 pounds and running is AMAZING!!!! WOW!! I was so shocked. It has been almost a year ( I know this is hard to believe) that I have gotten out and ran any sort of distance outside. I do run on the TM some at home but it is more walking at inclines and running here and there and upping and lowering the speed. It is a different feeling running outside and I can tell the difference in it now and I LOVE IT! It was just easier. This is not to say that you can't run/walk a marathon at any weight. You see ALL shapes and sizes on the course, trust me. I can assure you though that if you have the opportunity to drop a few pounds of fat before you start training it will greatly benefit you.

MILESTONE!!! CARDIO, WOOT WOOT!

2010-03-05T13:55:00.002-06:00

For the first time ever in my live I have done an AM cardio session for 7 days in a row! On one other occasion about 1 1/2 years ago I did 6 sessions in one week, I remember it very vividly b/c at that time that was my record. I have now surpassed that and completed 7 days of AM cardio.

The scale isn't moving but I could care less b/c I feel SO GOOD about what I accomplished this week with my exercise. The wonderful thing about this competition process is that you get so many other rewards. I have already talked about how much I enjoy the smaller clothes and just the way my existing clothes fit me and then the types of clothes I wear now that I never wore before is just such a bonus. Putting in a good workout and doing it consistently is equally as rewarding. I am bettering my health and my mind and I love that about this process.

Now, we know I typically take things day to day b/c it is very easy to get overwhelmed quickly with this process BUT I have decided to step it up a bit an I am going for a goal of exercising EVERY DAY in March. So that is 31 days straight! I have completed 5 days and I have 26 left. I know I can do it but boy I have to stay committed that is for sure.

Disclaimer - I only recommend this type of consistent day to day exercise if you are doing something like a competition. This is not a normal exercise schedule in someone's every day life. After the competition I will go back to 4-5 days of exercise each week which is doable for the long haul.

I will be exercising on Saturday and Sunday morning although I plan to get up a little later around 7 or 8 and not my usual 4:48 AM.

Have a great weekend and as I always say (words adopted from a fellow Phit-N-Phater), KEEP THE FOOD CLEAN AND THE WORK OUTS DIRTY!

March 1st...already? Progress pics too!

2010-03-01T15:39:00.005-06:00

Can you believe that 2 months of 2010 have passed already. CRAZY I tell ya!!

I am doing pretty well. This process is HARD to say the least. Typically very rewarding as I have said before b/c you often see changes in your body pretty frequently. Although, February was not one of those months for me. My weight went down about 3 pounds and my inches budged but not as much as I had hoped.

Of course you can only do so much and you cannot help how your body responds to what you are doing. As of last week I started a new menu that is carb cylcing and 3 days a week I eat 1500 cals, 3 days a week I eat 1200 cals and 1 day I eat a whopping 2000 calories in which I get to eat lots of oatmeal, brown rice and a sweet potato on that day in addition to lean meats and green veggies. So I know my body is adjusting to that. Also, I have gone up in my weights that I lift. Really trying to push the envelope with the weights since that is when you truly see the changes in your muscles. I have been working out 2 days a week at the gym with my husband as of last week and that really helps b/c he can spot me and help me along with a few lifts when my muscles get tired. As of Saturday I started doing cardio 7 days a week. I am 3/3 this week working out Saturday, Sunday and Monday so "YEA", I am off to a great start with that. I had to step it up to get this stubborn fat off b/c it is very comfortable right now it seems.

Oh and I continue to pass up on EVERY SINGLE MORSEL of food that is NOT on my plan. No licking of fingers or anything. My husband desperately wanted pizza last night and of course this is my choice to do this and I do not want others around me to feel like they have to eat chicken and aspargus constantly and he has not had pizza since the end of December so I said go ahead and order one for you and the girls but it has to be a small so you won't eat the entire medium pizza and there won't be any leftovers. He ordered it and picked it up and it totally hit the spot for him and the girls love pizza of course. I sat there and happily ate my chicken and aspargus and thought about how AWESOME I AM GOING TO LOOK ON STAGE IN A BIKINI. HA!

Speaking of the husband he has lost 10 pounds (some that he regained from last fall when he lost some) and is back on his plan as of this morning after having his pizza last night and is meeting me at the gym weekly now and even went to the gym today by himself. GO HUSBAND!!!

Here are some progress pics taken from today of me at 136.4 as of this morning. I am in my bra/panties and my sexy stripper heels. WOOT!

MY SHOES CAME IN!

2010-02-25T16:35:00.010-06:00

WOOT!!! Stripper shoes IN THE HOUSE! (no offense against strippers, but I think they wear these, these are some sexy shoes, they should wear them.)

Just slip these suckers on and you feel like a MILLION BUCKS!

I felt like a kid at Christmas time. I was SO EXCITED when I saw the box on the table and saw where it was from. I documented opening them and such. Then I had to go get on some shorts and a shirt so I could model them. J said I needs LOTS of practice. He is right. I have 15 weeks though. I will be a pro by then.

Not sure why this is underlined. Sorry.

I opened the box and they came in these individual pouches. HA.

Then I took one out and look at what I see. OMG!! Look at that heel.

Chloe was so excited. Probably b/c I was SO EXCITED. She wanted to take this picture. She did good, huh?

I slipped it on my foot for the first time. OMG!! I have to stand up AND walk around in these.

So I got on my shorts and here they are close up on my feet.

Then the "bikini pose" without the bikini.

The from behind shot.

And of course, last but certainly not least...the BOOTIE SHOT!

More food talk.

2010-02-23T15:28:00.003-06:00

I had several people ask me about not eating fruit and why that was.

First, let me say that fruit is good for you and in the words of Corinne from Phit-N-Phat "You didn't get fat from eating too many fruits and veggies." She says this to people when they are like "can I have this fruit or that fruit or this veggie or that veggie." The answer is YES in 99% of the occasions. The 1% exception to that is if you are on a competitor diet and to my knowledge even that isn't always true all of the time.

This is just based of what I know as of now from watching a few people do this process and from what I have learned so far going through my own process. If you have a considerable amount of fat to lose (like I do) for a competition of some sort you want NO SUGAR whatsoever. Fruit has sugar, although it is natural sugar it is still sugar. I do think there are some competitors depending on what stage they are in of their prep period (and how much fat they have to lose) that do eat minnimal fruit but at some point they cut it out. Since I have a lot of fat to lose I don't have time to be messing around and I can't afford to have the fruit for even a few weeks so it has been no fruit for me for the last 12 weeks and will continue to be that way for 16 more weeks.

Also, NO DAIRY b/c of the sugars in that as well (I believe that is the reason).

In a normal meal plan even one where you are in fact trying to drop the fat YOU CAN have fruit and dairy and still lose weight. You wouldn't want to eat your weight in it of course but as everything you can have it in moderation and fruit is encouraged b/c of its nutritional value (in my opinion).

The competitor diet is extreme since you are in fact trying to stand on stage in a bikini. You gotta pull out all the stops. I can live without fruit and dairy if it gets me to the stage.

I tell ya, I appreciate the taste of my food and just healthy food in general through this process. Having limited variety and limited ways to cook things you truly learn the value of food and its purpose to fuel your body.

It blows my mind that I could go from eating 3-4 bowls of fruity pebbles in one night and sitting down in the recliner with a tube of cookie dough for dessert (just for the record I wouldn't eat the whole tube but maybe 1/3 of it...umm, that was enough) to what I am doing now.

NEVER SAY NEVER PEOPLE!! You are selling yourself short if you do.

FOOD!!! The stuff I miss.

2010-02-19T13:40:00.010-06:00

As odd as it may seem, considering I spent about 13 years of my life overweight, the food part of the competitor process is rather easy for me. Now that I have had my healthy lifestyle mindset in place for about 4 years now and I know what types of food I have to eat to keep it just that, a lifestyle, I do not struggle with the strict diet I am on now (as of now anyway, that will probably be a different story about 4-6 weeks out). I am 16 weeks out now.

I just don't seem to be phased by tempations and I think it is purely from knowing what I want (basically having a goal and knowing what it will take to reach it) which is to stand on stage in a bikini and know that I did everything in my power to get there and in order to do that you CANNOT get off your plan and one little thing could trip you up b/c it might be what sends you into a binge of a bag of chips or 6 slices of pizza.

Two of my favorite splurge meals are pizza or chips and cheese dip and at this moment in time I don't even want them. I have a fear of them actually b/c I am SO FOCUSED and I am afraid one bite would end up with the whole pizza or 2 baskets of chips and 2 bowls of dip which would probably make me sick for one thing and would set me too far back in my process of getting to the stage (from a mental aspect mainly) Frankly, it isn't worth the 20 minutes of satisfaction that I would get from the taste of the foods to not reach my goal.

The thing is also that I don't eat those foods regularly when I am NOT in competition mode. I might eat them one time a week though and that is only if I feel like I have enough control to get back to my healthy plan. So by no means are those foods part of my everyday life anymore.

The foods that are slightly tempting to me are the foods that are part of my normal healthy maintenance diet.

This is the honest truth, the food that I miss the most are the healthy fruits and decently heatlhy carbs that I love that aren't on my plan at the moment.

STRAWBERRIES...OH MY! I love me some strawberries. I was cutting some of up for my husband and kids the other day and I wanted to pop about 5 of them in my mouth...but I didn't.

Apples...FUJI APPLES that is, the only kind in my book. The other day my husband had some of them sliced up and he had the nerve to wave it under my nose. I told him that was a quick way to lose a finger. I WANT AN APPLE so bad and some peanut butter on it would be bonus.

BANANAS!!!! Oh how I would love to slice up a banana and put it in a bowl of fiber one cereal with some skim milk. HEAVEN!! Or maybe just peel the banana and slather some peanut butter on each bite.

TORTILLAS, I love to put put a slice of cheese in a tort and melt in the microwave and dip it in salsa. Or also put a laughing cow wedge in it and top it with turkey pepperoni. YUM!

Last but certainly not least...SUGAR FREE MAPLE SYRUP, oh and some whip cream. I LOVE pancakes now, protein ones of course and although I have made some variations of them I do not put syrup on them at the moment and I can't wait until 16 weeks is up and I can. LOVE ME SOME SF MAPLE SYRUP and then you squirt some whip cream on them and it seriously taste like dessert.

Now that I have tortured myself I think I will stop with the food porn as it is often referred to. You can tell that I will be requesting a fruit tray after the competition and then I will hit up I-HOP for some pancakes and sf syrup and then I might stop by the Mexican place for some tortillas and cheese and I will probably have a basket of chips and cheese dip while I am there too. Maybe 2 baskets. HA

Doing well...

2010-02-16T13:54:00.002-06:00

Just a quick check in to let you guys know I am doing well. I am much busier in my job and my home life/exercise life/meal planning life now and I don't have as much time to update you guys on my progress and life is going for me.

I hope to in the near future do a blog about my food/diet thoughts and then also I want to do a day in the life of "Dawn the bikini competitor" with pictures and such. Maybe I can get to that in the near future.

As for now I am plugging along and eating what I know I should be eating and cardioing my heart out and lifting weights along the way too.

My weight is down to 136 flat. WOOT WOOT!!! I think I can say I am in the mid 130's and that feels GREAT.

I am 16 1/2 weeks out from the competition.

I plan on giving it EVERYTHING I HAVE GOT during these 16 weeks. I have come too far now to stop and I don't want to come up short and end up not looking like I belong on stage. At this point that would be way too disappointing so I intend to do what I need to do to make that not happen.

FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS and shoes

2010-02-10T16:03:00.004-06:00

Focus is what I am in need of now. No worries. I have not fallen off the wagon or into a bowl of cheese dip or a basket of chips. Although, I did notice on my trip to Target today that they have CHOCOLATE TWIZZLERS!! I swear I was NOT in the candy isle, I just went by it and I looked down there and the chocolate twizzlers caught my eye. Thankfully, I am focused enough to not buy those and I am not a big candy eater, a basket full of chips and cheese dip are more my thing.

See, I already lost my focus here just typing this blog.

FOCUS is what I need. I only have 17 weeks people. Well, 17 weeks and 2 days. That is it and then it is GO TIME/SHOW TIME!! Stand on stage in a bikini and 5 inch heel time. ACCKK, EEEKKKK, OH MY!!

I have been at this for 10 1/2 weeks now and I have done pretty well. Down 12 pounds of FAT! WOOT and several inches. I have made great strides from where I was 10 weeks ago BUT I have further to go. This is where the going gets TOUGH. I have to dig deeper into my dedication and commitment stash and make this happen.

It is not the food although I have realized the extra few almonds I am eating here and there could be affecting me. I can't do that. If I am hungry I need to up the veggies during the 6 meals I get each day. I can eat my heart out on green peppers and cucumbers if I must and NOT almonds. They are just so easy and quick and man, they taste good. Funny, the things you appreciate when your diet consist of few items.

The exercise is where I have always stumbled. I know I know I trained for a marathon and you wonder how this could be. Well, when I trained for that I would run 4 days a week and that was it. 3 of those runs were about 40 minutes and the 4th one was anywhere from 2-4 hours. This time around I basically have to get in 300 minutes of cardio each week which averages out to an hour 5 days a week and then 5 ST sessions per week which take about 30 minutes. DAMN! It exhausts me just looking at it. Pushing through when I am tired or sleepy is what I have not mastered and there is no time to waste.

Consistently making time for this is my challenge. Working full time and taking care of 2 young kids and keeping a house straight and laundry and food in the fridge (these are priorities for me, I cannot function in a cluttered/dirty house) and going about my life with commitements some evenings and on the weekends. It is just hard. I am not making excuses b/c I chose this. I chose to accept this challenge and I intend to follow through with it. I am going to have to let some things go to the side for 17 weeks I think so that I can make this happen. I have a possible new strategy though and that is walking around the house in my 5 inch heels and short shorts and cleaning and then my husband will follow and he will be forced to clean with me. Sounds good, huh?

He is helpful if I ask him so I am just going to have to give him a chores list I think and say if you want me on stage in a bikini then these are your jobs.

As for shoes. I don't have them yet but here is what they look like. WOOT WOOT!! I am going to need some SERIOUS practice in these. I promise to post some pics of me cleaning and cooking wearing my sexy shoes. This will be a sight to see I can assure you.

Thanks again for all of the positive feedback and encouragement. You have no idea how much it helps me.

Newsflash...SIZE 6

2010-02-05T13:40:00.002-06:00

SIZE 6 SIZE 6 SIZE 6!!!!

OH YEA!! Size 6 pair of jeans on my bootie today! The first time that has happened since I was an early teenager. I don't recall wearing a 6 but I am certain I did at some point in my junior high years. What a GREAT feeling this is.

A friend had given me these jeans almost a year ago b/c they were too big for her and I have tried them on several times between then and now and they wouldn't even button a year ago and then they have slowly been getting close as the months went on and TODAY I am finally able to wear them out of the house and they fit perfectly.

I have a busy weekend planned with getting clothes ready for a consignment sale, a RAZORBACK basketball game, church, food prep and EXERCISE!!! Looking forward to the weekend though as always.

Have a good one!

Thank you!

2010-02-03T09:33:00.003-06:00

I just want thank all of you for the encouraging and supporting comments! I GREATLY APPRECIATE them. Although, I feel great and I am so pleased with my progress this process is still so overwhelming and I still have those doubts hidden in the back of my mind that just b/c I lose the fat I am pretty certain I will not look that good in a bikini and maybe I have no business doing something like this.

I do my best to keep those thoughts in the BACK of my mind but sometimes they creep on up.

I believe 100% that I can drop the fat but that is just part of the equation. Actually getting into a skimpy bikini and standing on a stage is TERRIFYING!! I am going to do it but when it comes down to it I am not sure how I will muster the courage to do so. I am hoping in 18 1/2 weeks when I have the the final product that I will feel differently.

Anyway, I just wanted to say a HUGE THANK YOU to those that leave comments on my blog and to those that give me compliments in person. You have no idea how it moves those doubts oh so slightly a tad further back in my mind.

Here goes...the results so far

2010-02-02T15:08:00.011-06:00

I hope these pics don't come back to haunt me one of these days. I just post these so that all of you can truly see the difference and so that you can know that YOU TOO can do it with consistent eating and exercise. The hard work does pay off and it is not just for me, it is for you too if you want to work for it. Disclaimer: That is not to say you have to follow a competitor diet and exercise plan in order to get results b/c you absolutely do not have to do that.

I wanted to get them to where they were side by side but I am not that good with technology so this will have to do. This is what 12 pounds of fat gone looks like. 150-138!!!!

SWEATER DRESS!! WOOT WOOT!

2010-01-28T14:47:00.004-06:00

For Christmas my lovely husband who knows I am not that trendy with clothes and who wants me to look and feel cute bought me 2 sweater dresses with leggings and black tall boots. Yes, he is a manly man coach who has a really good sense of fashion and can pick out my clothes better than I can. Go figure.

Anyway, I am wearing one of them today so I thought I would share so you can see my 138.4 pound body. WOO HOO!!!

And of course the bootie shot!

I weigh less than my MOM!!!

2010-01-27T13:51:00.004-06:00

So last night I was having dinner with my parents and for some reason Chloe said "Mom, tell them how much you weigh." (still not sure why she brought this up, maybe b/c when I got into the 130's I was doing the happy dance around the house exclaiming, 130's, 130's, 130's). That girl doesn't forget anything.

Anyway so I said "I weigh 139.6!!! My Mom said with a smile "Dawn, you weigh less than me". I almost did the happy dance around the restaurant but I refrained.

You would only know what a big accomplishment this is if you knew my Mom and her petite body. She has never struggled with her weight only b/c she has typically eaten healthy and home grown foods and she doesn't eat big portions, she never has and she is very active working out side and such.

My Mom is the Mom who has always had an average weight of 125 (she is 5'4") and when she was pregnant with me, 9 months pregnant with me I might add, she weighed 127. YES, I just said when she was NINE MONTHS PREGNANT she weighed 127 pounds. She was one of those that was so tiny and had the basketball in the front. Now I only weighed 5 pounds 8 oz. so I was tiny but still. When she left the hospital after having me she weighed a measely 107 pounds. Yes, 107 people!

So anyway, my Mom actually now weighs 143. The most she has ever weighed. 6 years ago she retired and since then she has put on about 20 pounds. One reason I think is b/c she isn't on a regular schedule and she is eating a little more than before by snacking and she is having issues with her thyroid which I think is affecting her weight. She is still very active though gardening and chasing my kids around. I have been giving her food recommendations and she is making some changes plus she just started a work out thing where she lifts weights 2 times a week.

My point is that my Mom is bigger than she has been although she is still rather small, BUT I AM SMALLER!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! I like to give her a hard time about it now and she takes it very well. She is VERY PROUD OF ME since I have struggled with it in the past. There is nothing more than she wants for her daughter to be smaller than her.

She calls me "Skinny butt".... AND I LOVE IT!!!