"Commitment leads to action. Action brings your dreams closer. "


Thursday, April 29, 2010

Bikini opton #2 = FAIL!

So I was so excited to get this other bikini that I ordered. It came in the mail yesterday and I rushed home to try it on and it is a NO GO!!!

It did not fit. WAY TO SMALL. I couldn't even take a picture of it to put on my blog b/c well you just don't want to see those parts of me that were falling out of it.

Plus, it does not look anything like the picture in my opinion. It is not nearly as bright and shiny and this model must be the tinyest thing ever and of course we see her perky boobs and maybe that suit would be fine if you had those...I DO NOT have those.

Here is what it looks like on the absolute perfect body:

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Purple bikini option #1

Here is one option of a bikini for the competition. I do have a different type of bottom that I might go with if I choose this purple one it ties on the sides and is a tad more skimpy. I want to feel comfortable on stage but I also want to fit in with everyone else so I am going to think about which bottoms I might go with. You know my chest has always been a source of concern and if they would fit in a bikini top like I wanted. Well they have MAJORLY shrunk over the past few weeks and I can stuff them in some tops like nobody's business. This top does have considerable coverage but I do feel comfortable in it and I think it is still cute so I like that about it.

I have one more suit coming in the mail on Wednesday and I really LOVE it (according to the picture at least) and I am very anxious to try it on to see how it fits. Will post pictures of that one later this week (if it fits like I hope it does). You would think that with the 1000's of suits that are out there that I could find more than 2 that seemed appealing but I CAN'T. Especially, not being able to try them on in a store. The ones in the stores around me just aren't attractive at all for a bikini competition and hardly just for wearing on the beach as far as I am concerned.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Did you get your tickets...

for the GUN SHOW?????

Also, just a teaser, that is the top to one of my potential bikini competition suits. I will post the full length view tomorrow.

Friday, April 23, 2010

WHY am I doing this. 50 days out!

I am at 50 days. WHOA!! That means in 7 weeks from tomorrow I should be standing on stage in a bikini. CRAZY!

I have been doing average. I have struggled with my food a bit in the past week. Having no control with the jar of peanut butter at home for 3 out of the last 7 nights. I have since got rid of the peanut butter and I will not be buying anymore of it until June 13th. If my kids want it then they can get it at my parents house. They will live.

I am 100% back on track with the food though now and my exercise is still going strong.

I still believe that I am going to make it to the stage.


I think that people often wonder "Why in the world would you want to do something like this?" People often comment on how much weight I have lost or how small I have gotten and then I tell them and they are typically in shock (which I completely understand b/c it is a little shocking to me for those words to come out of my mouth...bikini competition). They usually say "Wow" or "Neat". They just don't know how to respond and I totally get that. It is a strange thing to hear from a middle 30 aged person with 2 kids. I mean why would I have the slightest desire to stand on stage in a bikini.

Well here you go, there are several answers to this really good question:

1) As soon as I completed the full marathon last March, 2009 (just a few days following it) I wondered in my mind what I could do next. What next big goal would be on my agenda. I have done a full marathon so the sky is the limit for me is what I was thinking at the time. Coming off a marathon HIGH is AWESOME. I know there are other things like it but I had not experienced anything like that before so I thought the world was mine for the taking. I have some friends from Phit-N-Phat that have competed before.. Corinne, Carla and Lisa. I remember thinking to myself that if Corinne can do a figure competition then I can too. She also ran the marathon with me. So I planted the seed in my mind that I just might want to do a competition in the near future.

2) I wanted to drop my fat percentage. I was not disappointed in my weight at the time around 150ish. It did go up to 158 towards the end of the marathon training but I was decently comfortable in a siz3 8's and 10's BUT I still wanted to lose a little more fat. I had maintained a weight from 150-155 for 2 years and I was fine there but wanted to push it a little and see if I could lose some fat and let the scale fall where it would.

3) I am a dilly dallyer. I just am. I know this about myself. I don't get around to things very well at times. I just kind of hem haw around and get to things when I get to them. I knew if I wanted to drop the fat I would need a BIG goal to get me to where I wanted to be.

4) So with all of those things together, wanting to push myself beyond what I think I am capable of like I did with the marathon and wanting to drop some fat and knowing I may not ever get around to doing it if I don't just put myself out there and commit to something of this magnitude that is why I decided to go for a bikini competition. There are other divisions like figure and bodybuilding but I felt like bikini was the best one for me at this time. You are toned and lean but not too toned (you just don't have to have as much muscle to look like you fit in) and not as lean as a figure competitor at least they don't look it anyway. Not that I don't like the figure competition part b/c I do and who knows I might do one of those one of these days but for now it is just making it to the stage in a bikini and being proud of my results.

Also, I know I am not going to win. That isn't at all what this is about for me. When I set out to do the marathon I never once thought that I would come in first place or even 1000th or even 3000th place. It was about committing to it, putting in the training time and starting and finishing the race with a smile on my face the whole way and then never forgetting the feeling of crossing that glorious finish line.

That is my goal with the bikini comp, I intend to be the BEST ME that I possibly can. The stage is just a place to show myself that I acheived that and I did what I set out to do. I hope I inspire some people along the way and show them that it is NEVER too late to change your life and to become healthy and fit and have the body, mind and healthy heart you always wanted. I am living proof. BELIEVE IT...BE IT!

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Muscles and Bones!

This title might seem a little strange but I have to tell you guys that I HAVE MUSCLES AND I HAVE BONES!! Some of them are protruding a lot more than they used to (muscles and bones that is) and I have discovered A LOT more of them (muscles and bones that is). THIS IS GREAT!!

A few weeks ago I was laying down in bed on my back and I felt my pelvic or hip bone and I grabbed J's hand and said "feel this." HA, not sure what he thought, well I know what he was thinking but instead I had him feel of my hip bones, they were RIGHT THERE and sticking out. WOW!! I have hip bones and you can see them and feel them very well especially when I am laying down. He wasn't nearly as excited about my hip bones as I was.

Then when I was putting lotion on the other morning I disovered I have those bones in my lower back (I actually think they are the back of the pelvis), there are two of them and they feel kind of round. WOW, who knew!

Then my clavicle(collar bone) is totally protruding. I know it has always been there but DANG, you can really see it now.

Now onto the even bigger and better part, the muscles surrounding those bones. I have some serious biceps people. I love flexing them. J laughs at me all of the time b/c I am like "feel this, look at this, check this out." HA OH and I have so already talked about my leg muscles, my favorite ones actually, LOVE EM'.

Just think, all of these wonderful body parts were hidden under all of those layers of fat for all of those long years. NOT ANYMORE!! They have all come out to play! WOOT WOOT!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Progress pics

These are actually my progress pictures from this past Monday, April 12, 2010. I know you guys are tired of seeing me in my underwear/bra. I am just NOT a shopper. I will go get a bathing suit for my upcoming beach vacation in the near future, I promise. It will be at some point before I leave town but for now this will just have to do. I mean there really isn't much difference in a bikini and your underwear/bra anyway, right?

The scale on the day these pictures were taken says 135.6. My lowest weight I have seen is 134 flat. Still nothing lower. I am working through that though and just keeping on keeping on. As I have said before I can't let the scale be the determining factor of my success and you shouldn't either. PLEASE remember that if you are on the path to less fat, the scale is ONE VERY SMALL measure of your progress.

I don't really look like a bikini competitor yet (not sure if I ever will) but I look DAMN GOOD FOR ME that is for sure. Check out my legs... I LOVE MY LEGS!! That is my best feature by far. Maybe during the competition I can put lots of sparkly things on them or something so you are just automatically drawn to them and don't notice the rest of me as much. Hmmmm.

OH and just in case you missed my previous post...I CAN WEAR A SIZE FOUR!!!!!! WOOT!

Tuesday, April 13, 2010


Friday night was the night that I had an amazing thing happen along my health and fitness journey. I slid on a pair of size FOUR jeans. SIZE 4 PEOPLE!!! Let's just count this together and see how fast we can get there, 1, 2, 3 4. WOOT! You can even count it on one hand!!!
This was truly an amazing moment for me.

I have been able to get into 6's and I only have 1 pair of those that my Mom bought me a few weeks ago. I have not been clothes shopping in months (I am not a big shopper at all, although it is MUCH more enjoyable now than it was about 50 pounds ago). I had a Bachelorette party to go to Saturday night so I thought it would be a good excuse to get a new shirt and an new pair of jeans. Friday after work, J picked up the girls and I went to the mall alone. Went to JcPenney's. I found some jeans and I thought to myself, I am going to grab a 6 and a 4 and just see how close I am to getting into the 4's. Well, I tried those on first just for kicks, WELL GET OUT OF TOWN THOSE THINGS SLIPPED RIGHT ON and buttoned right up with no muffin top or anything. Water filled my eyes as I stood in the dressing room. I wanted to run out into the store yelling "four, four, four" but I refrained. Instead I took a cell phone picture of them and sent it to a few people and got some quick exciting responses back. WOW!! Talk about tears of joy. I just could not believe my eyes. I also tried on the 6 just for good measure and they were loose. I needed the FOUR. I just had to confirm that I really needed the FOUR and I DID!

Just as a reminder to all of you to look at my sidebar. I used to be that over 200 pound girl who wore a size TWENTY and an XXL!!! Now I can sport a size 4 and a medium and some smalls. I NEVER dreamed I would be where I am today. This was not overnight and this was not even in one year (although, I believe you could get there in 1 year if you truly wanted to). This has been a major work in progress and taking small baby steps the entire way and learning as I go and getting better and better at my lifestyle as the days go by. This is a TRUE REWARD for me and by gosh, I deserve it! I kept staring at my jeans all weekend from time to time just thinking how small they were and how they fit ME! DANG, I FEEL GOOD!!!

I remember back when I was so overweight and tears would come to my eyes it seems almost daily when I would get dressed b/c of how fat I was and nothing looked good or could hide my rolls. To be at the point that I am now is almost undescribable. I wish everyone could exprience this feeling once in their life. We ALL deserve it, not just me. GO FOR YOUR GOALS people, it is SO SO SO WORTH IT!!

I have no idea if after the competition comes and goes if I will still be able to wear a size 4, if I do I do and if I don't I don't but no one can ever take away this glorious moment for me. I will remember this always.

Friday, April 9, 2010

I lied and weekend plan.

No progress pics today. I was so ready to take them then I thought I left my camera at work then I get to work and it isn't here so now I have to go find it. I think it might be at home in a drawer, not certain though. I know I have put it somewhere but I just can't remember where that somewhere is.

I have a busy but fun weekend planned that I am really looking forward to. Saturday morning I will exercise and then the girls and I will head to a state park near us and we will hike. Chloe is a part of a group called Jr. Master Gardners and they are doing this hike so Lizzie and I are going along. I think it is more like a stroll on a nice trail so Lizzie should be able to do it too. Then we eat a bag lunch that I will take with us then we will head to a lake marina that is near by. Jeremy is fishing in a tournament and we will go watch the weigh in Saturday afternoon and we hope and pray that he has some fish to weigh in. Time will tell on that though. THEN the girls are staying the night with my parents and I am going to a BACHELORETTE PARTY!! It is for a great friend from high school and I am just thrilled that she is getting married to a great guy in the near future. This should be fun.

Sunday will be church then some relaxing and food prep for the week. Oh and I am NOT exercising on Sunday. Trainer said to take a day of rest so I follow orders so I will enjoy sleeping in a bit. Sunday evening I go to another good friends birthday dinner that her parents have for her every year. I won't be able to partake in all of the food but I can eat some salad and then I think I might have some of the homemade meatballs. I might take my own veggie or something with me. The meal consist of salad, spaghetti w/ meatballs and sausage and then angel food cake/strawberries/homemade cool whip for dessert. I will be happy with salad and meatballs though.

Anyway, so there you have my weekend plans. Just have to stay away from the snacks and the alcohol at the Bachelorette party Saturday night.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

64 days and a daughters perspective

9 weeks from TODAY I will be in my car bound for Nashville,TN to meet up with some friends and then head to Chattanooga on Friday morning for the competition. We are really coming down to the wire. I am feeling good about it though. I hope to post some progress pics tomorrow actually. Then I will probably post some in about 2 more weeks then I just might have to make you guys wait until the competition for some more. I have to keep the suspense a little bit to keep things exciting, right?

I have GOT to order my bikini for the comp. I have a few that I want to try to see how they work on my body. Hopefully, one of them will be a keeper.

Exercise has been VERY consistent as well as my food. Tomorrow (Friday) is my high carb and high calorie day. I get to consume 2000 calories and over 250 grams of carbs. Healthy carbs of course but I will be in heaven and my stomach will be big which is why I will take the pics in the morning before I consume these calories/carbs.

You will be glad to know that I have been practicing walking in my shoes. It is NOT easy. I just hope I can look natural in them at some point b/c as of now I just walk funny in them. I have been walking around in the kitchen in them while I cook and my kids think it is so funny.

Oh get this, so Chloe's pre-school teacher said "I hear you are doing a bikini competition." She said Chloe was talking to one of her friends the other day at school and the teacher over heard their conversation it went like this:

Friend: "My Mom and I shared a muffin this morning."

Chloe: "Are you on a diet?" (not sure why she asked this in response to her friend saying she shared a muffin. Also, just for the record, around our house we do use the word diet often just out of habit but it is used in the terms of our diet as in "we eat a healthy diet" and not like "we are on a diet." you get what I am saying? I am NOT a fan of teaching your kid that they need to be on what Americans think of as a diet. ok, onto the rest of my story, I just wanted to clear that up.)

Friend: "I don't know, what is a diet"

Chloe: "When you eat healthy food." (Yea, looks as if we are successful with our definition of a diet, perfect, she gets it)

Friend: "Yea, we are."

Which for some reason leads to Chloe saying: "My Mom is getting ready for a bikini competition and she walks around in her high heel shoes and poses."


A kids perspective. At least she is watching what I do I guess and yes, I do walk around in my high heel shoes and I practice posing. Girls, gotta practice, right?

I told the teacher that Chloe was probably REALLY thinking "My MOM ain't gonna eat NO MUFFIN." HA

Speaking of posing, Chloe has the signature Phit-N-Phat pose down just right, hands on hips and one leg out.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

The REAL countdown begins

I have changed my countdown strategy to DAYS now instead of weeks. I am 67 days out. SCARY!! That does not seem like very long at all. I am truly just taking it even more day to day now than I was before.

Here is my strategy:
1) stick 100% to the food plan. No waivering, not even 1 extra almond or one extra ounce of this or that.

2) exercise EVERYDAY for 67 more days (unless I am sick of course, can't plan that). By the way in March I exercised 27/31 days. I am pleased with that.

3) STAY POSITIVE! This is key. If my mind gets weak then my body gets weak and it is just a bad situation all around. I CAN DO THIS! I have come so far and changed my body so much, I will see this through until the end.

4) CHILL OUT!! I have got to chill out. This is not life or death. This is a lofty goal that I set for myself and I am well on my way of making it a reality and I can totally do this. I must quit stressing out over this, if my body doesn't transform like I hope and if I were to not make it to the stage it is completley fine, I still have transformed my body in a way I never imagined I would and my vacation will still go on as planned immediately after the competition. Life is GOOD. I need to remember that.

Oh, I am still not weighing. I most likely will weigh on Friday morning before my 2000 calorie food day just for the heck of it but it will NOT SWAY MY POSITIVE ATTITUDE! I AM CHILL!

Friday, April 2, 2010

10 weeks out!

I am 10 weeks out as of tomorrow from the BIKINI STAGE!!! I knew it would go by fast but it is going by SO MUCH faster than I ever thought it would.
Am I ready for it to get here? YES!!

Am I ready for it to be over with and get back to normal eating and exercise life? DOUBLE YES!

Do I think I am going to make it ? 99% of the time I do, I still have this 1% doubt b/c no matter how much I exercise and how well I stick to my eating plan I have no idea how my body will respond. Remember it was content at 185-210 pounds for 12 years of my life and I cannot predict how it will transform and I have no idea what it will look like 10 weeks from now.

Do I hope I make it? HELL YEA!!! To do ALL of this hard work and sacrifice and not be able to walk on that stage in those stripper heels and a hot bikini would break my heart. To put so much effort into something and then not be able to see it through, well we all know that just SUCKS. Therefore, I will not think about that now. All I am focusing on IS walking across that stage.

I know I have discussed this before but I am going to talk about it again...THE SCALE!!

This is me:
Well this isn't really me but it is how I feel when I get on the scale in the mornings. GEEZ LOUISE is what I am thinking. Yes, for the last several weeks I have let the scale be the determining factor of my success. NOT ANY LONGER! I am stepping away from the scale for days and possibly weeks until I just feel like I have to or my trainer wants a scale report (which he doesn't care about the scale much at all so he will most likely be fine with no report).

It is SO STUPID to let a piece of equipment be the deciding factor on if you are being successful. I can't believe I let it get to me so much but I have and the solution to fix the issue is just not to weigh. The mirror, the clothes, the tape measure and my mind are the deciding factor on if I am doing what I need to do. Not a number on the scale that takes into account, fat, muscle, water, what I just ate, water retention, hormones and the list goes on. I need to quit giving a number on a machine so much power. This vicious cycle is stopping now. WOOT! I feel free!

Speaking of me, here I am for real this morning. Chloe took this picture of me, she loves using the camera now. She almost cut part of my head off and it is a tad blurry and my face is shiny too (girl needs some powder) but this will do. Feeling good in my size 6 jeans. WOOT!

Here are Chloe and Lizzie this morning too. Sweet sisters!