EXCUSES DON'T BURN CALORIES

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Thursday, June 25, 2009

Phat Camp Bound!

I am headed to Nashville today for a fitness camp with my trainer, Corinne, from Phit-N-Phat. I cannot wait to get there and see everyone. We have a full schedule beginning tomorrow through Sunday afternoon. I will be worn out by the time it is all over but it will be a "good" sort of tired.

This morning I am hanging out with J and the girls just relaxing and getting my things together. We are headed to get some groceries soon so that they can eat while I am away.

I will share photos and all about the trip when I return.

Have a GREAT weekend! Keep the food clean and the workouts dirty!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Funeral...

Today is Sabrina's funeral at 2. I dread it. It just sucks, no other way to put it. It is what it is and as much as you want life to stop, it goes on. I just found out yesterday that a friend that actually lost her son 2 years ago to SIDS when he was 5 months old is now pregnant with TWINS!!! Talk about the circle of life. Amazing how that works out. You have sorrow one minute and joy the next. Oh the trials of life.

I am doing pretty well just heartbroken for my Uncle, Aunt and other cousin. Just saddens me to see the pain on their faces knowing they have to live the next several years without their precious Sabrina.

I have not exercised in 2 weeks and my food has been average. Good choices and bad choices. I am in maintenance at the moment which I am fine with. Just cruising along in the low 150's which is just fine for now. Not fretting it at all.

I leave in 2 days for Phat Camp! Gosh, I am so excited about that in the midst of my sadness I think about Phat Camp and it brings a smile to my face. It is going to be so much fun and such a great learning experience and life experience too I think. Just think about being around 30 fabulous women who all have the same goal in mind, a healthy lifestyle. I just can't wait!

Monday, June 22, 2009

Monday Monday...

Tonight is visitation at the funeral home for Sabrina and tomorrow afternoon is the funeral. Oh how I dread this. Can't change it though so I must just go with it. UGH!

I went out to my Uncle's house yesterday after lunch and my girls and husband and I visited for several hours. Her parents and brother are doing o.k. About like you might expect. They were sorting through pictures to give to the funeral home for a slide show and that was nice to look back at the pics of her when she was younger. Those brought a smile to your face. So many wonderful memories with her family and nephews.

I am gearing up to leave town on Thursday to head to Nashville for Phat Camp. Can't wait for that. A dedicated weekend devoted to me and health and fitness. FUN TIMES!!! I get to see some fellow phit-n-phat folks that I have already met and meet several knew ones which will be great. I talk to them on-line so I feel as if I know them so it will be so nice to meet them in person.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Sabrina passed away

I just heard word from my Aunt that my cousin passed away. UGH!! Obviously, we knew it was coming but it doesn't make it any easier.

I am slighlty relieved that she is just at peace and not having to fight anymore. I know she was exhausted. I selfishly wish she was still here with us to laugh and smile but I am glad she is in Heaven smiling down and just resting her tired and weary body.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

A turn for the worse

Yesterday afternoon Sabrina had her ventilator removed and then they put in a trac. She hasn't woken up since then. My Mom just spoke to her sister-in-law and she is not doing well. So we just continue to pray that whatever is meant to be with her will be and that her parents and brother will have the strength to handle it.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Hump day ALREADY!

Wow, these weeks are flying by. I can hardly belive it is June 17th. I will be going out of town at the end of next week and next weekend for my PHAT CAMP with the Phit-N-Phat crew in Nashville. I can't wait for that. Then I return from that and head to the beach with some friends and family in early July. I really can't wait for that!

As for Sabrina she still continues to improve. She closed her eyes completely yesterday which is a really big deal. The nurse told her family the other day that it would be months before she closer her eyes all the way then she did it yesterday. YEA!!! Today she is having a Trac put in (you know that tube that you have seen that comes out of your neck). This will replace the ventilator that is in her throat. It will help her breathe but she won't have the discomfort of that tube in her throat. The hope is that she will be able to talk with the ventilator out of her throat. Her surgery for that is going on right now as I type. My Mom is there so I should hear a report soon on that.

As for me I am doing pretty good. Exercise is non-existent and food is average. I have put myself in maintenance mode basically which is fine for now. I know the time will come that I will get in gear and rev up my motivation and get to my next goal but for now I am just on idle. Being able to maintain is a struggle in it's own and something I will have to do for my lifetime so the more I can practice it and the better off I will be in the long term.

Now, I just have to get my lazy morning bootie to the gym and get back to pumping that iron that I enjoy so much.

Have a great Wednesday, what is left of it anyway.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Still IMPROVING!!!

WOW!! Sabrina is still going strong and slowly improving. She breathed 5 hours on her own on Saturday and then 4 hours on Sunday that I know of, possibly longer after I left the hospital.

I went into see her yesterday. I tried to prepare myself for what she might look like and I did pretty well. I didn't get upset. I was just thrilled to see her responding. I tried to picture her without the ventilator b/c she would look so much better if all of those tubes weren't hooked up to her. Bless her heart you just want to make her 100% again. We have hope that she will get there but it will be a long tough road. If anyone can do it though, she can.

I swear you guys, she has the MOST will to live of anyone I have ever seen. By all accounts she should have not made it past her 20th birthday and she will celebrate 42 in August. I remember in her late teens when she was in a comma in the hospital and then needed a kidney transplant in her mid 20's and she finally got that when she was 27. I would bet she has been in the hospital about 30 times in her life time and possibly more. That is A LOT!!! Over half of them were life threatening at least if not more. It just isn't her time to go just yet, that is all you can say about it. God has a purpose for her on this earth.

Her family had already told the organ donor people that they could have her liver, they were deciding on a funeral home and they were hoping my cousin from Michigan could come down and do her funeral. The Dr.s weren't trying to not give the family hope but they were just being realistic that coming out of something like this was basically impossible. Well believe me when I say first hand that it is. If you did not or do not believe in miracles and think anything is possible KNOW THAT IT ABSOLUTELY IS!!! NEVER count anyone out b/c you just don't know what God has planned for them.

It will obviously be a long road for her but who knows what she might do. Going from deaths door to what she is now then the sky is the limit for her.

Please continue the prayers b/c she still needs them and her family needs the strength to do what they need to do to assist in her recovery.

Friday, June 12, 2009

She's a FIGHTER!!!!

She is FIGHTING!! She isn't leaving her family that easy it seems.

I did not get to go in and see Sabrina yesterday b/c the time frame I was there they weren't allowing visitors b/c they wanted her to rest.

Sabrina's sister-in-law was telling me that yesterday morning her and Sabrina's brother went in to see her and he got right up in her face and was talking to her and all of the sudden she focused on him (previously her eyes were just going back and forth from in-voluntary movement). He continued to talk to her and she started nodding yes and no. They went to tell the Dr. and of course he looked at them like they were crazy and said he would be back there in a few minutes. A few minutes later he went back there and started examining her and a big grin came over his face and he looked at them and said "SHE IS RESPONDING". They called the neurologist and he came in a few hours later and confirmed again that she had woken up. They put a feeding tube in her stomach (previously they weren't going to bother b/c it was too traumatic and they really didn't think there was a need in it) and they started slowly backing of the pressure from the ventilator and she started breathing more and more on her own.

My sister got to see her last night and she nodded at her and looked at her and tried to move her arm to touch her. The nurse assured her that those were NOT in-voluntary movements and that she was doing that on her own. The nurse was stunned. She told my family that she did not expect to see Sabrina still there last night (thought she would have passed on) and that we must have an in with GOD!!! My sister just smiled and said "WE DO".

Seriously, this is a miracle, there is no other way to describe it. I cannot tell you how many people are praying for her. We have a large family and we have all told at least 10 people and those people have put her on prayer chains and told their friends and family and it has been passed on from there. It is working for sure!! There is no other explanation to it b/c medically it should not be happening.

We of course don't know if this is temporary or if this is long term all we know is for now we have to go with it and just be thankful that we have her with us a little longer and she is giving it all she's got. If nothing else it is a wonderful time for everyone to say a quality "see ya later" and to always believe in MIRACLES. Of course we are hoping for the best and that she is with us a little bit longer on earth.

KEEP PRAYING!!!

Thank you all so much for the support and the prayers, I can't tell you how much it means to me and my family. This blog community is SO GREAT. I can't believe the ones of you that are following my story and sending up the prayers. THANK YOU!!!

Thursday, June 11, 2009

You won't believe this...MIRACLES HAPPEN!

I know I just posted about 1 1/2 hours ago that my cousins prognosis was basically we were waiting for her to pass on. Well, about 11:45 the family called my Mom while my Mom, Dad, husband and I and the girls were at swim lessons to share with us that Sabrina has woken up. She is trying to talk and her kidney's have started producing urine and working properly. AMAZING!!

My Mom rushed up there in the hopes to get in to see her. I haven't heard anything since this phone call so I don't know if she is still awake or not. If nothing else what a joyous reunion for her Mom, Dad and brother to possibly at least say one last quality goodbye or who knows she might be with us for a while longer. Whatever it is, I am so joyful and it just shows she isn't going down without a fight.

My girls are napping then I plan to go to the hospital with the hopes of being able to go speak and smile at Sabrina.

Keep praying please b/c it is working.

I am back safe and sound and sad news.

I made it back from Nashville on Tuesday afternoon. The trip was GREAT. I learned a lot and had a lot of fun in the process.

Overall, I was pleased with my food. I managed to stay away from the bread baskets and I had great portion control. I did have some dessert though, a slice of cheesecake and a brownie on two separate occasions. I only had 1 alcholic beverage the whole trip and I exercised for 45 minutes on Monday morning. I couldn't believe I actually got out of bed. I did not get up on Tuesday though b/c I was just exhausted.

The sad news though is that on Monday my Mom talked with me on the phone informing me that my cousin, Sabrina, was in the hospital and not doing well. On Tuesday while waiting for my plane to board I talked to her and she told me that she was not going to make it. I went to the hospital as soon as I got in town on Tuesday and stayed for several hours. My cousin is in her early 40's and has juvenile (type 1) diabetes. She had a kidney transplant years ago and did well for a while but has been in and out of the hospital for the past 2 years due to complications. On Monday her Dad found her on the floor in her home and called the ambulence. She had some bleeding on her brain. My Mom actually spoke to her Monday afternoon. Sometime between then and Tuesday morning though she had a massive stroke. She is currently on life support and is breathing sporadcially on her own. Her kidney's are starting to shut down. At this point it is a matter of time. It is so very sad. She has no children and her husband died 9 years ago from a brain aneurism.

To add to the sadness this same family lost their grandson/nephew (Sabrina's brother Scott's son) in a tragic hay ride accident when he was 8, 5 1/2 years ago. So this family has had their share of tragedy for sure. It just doesn't seem to end.

Prayers and good thoughts are much appreciated. Luckily, we have an awesome family, all of us have lived in the same town our entire life so we are very close and that means a great support network. It couldn't be any better really.

Friday, June 5, 2009

Out of town - on a mission w/ a plan.

I will be traveling out of town Sunday morning and return Tuesday afternoon. I will be on a business trip. My goal for the trip is to AVOID the bread basket and the dessert. I can do this. I will do this! I don't want to let a vacation of sorts be an added 2-3 pounds like it really could be if you just let yourself go.

I will take my own snacks like nuts, protein bars and carrot sticks and eat those during the snack breaks of the meetings. We will have a b-fast buffet but I am hoping it is more than pastries. I think it will be and I can choose oatmeal, fruit and eggs or a combination of those. Lunch and dinner is provided for a few nights but I feel good about it being decent choices and I can choose a rather healthy option.

The great thing is that this hotel has a gym and one of my co-workers already told me she was going to exercise if I wanted to come along. She knows I work out in the mornings and she isn't good at getting up so she said I could call her and we could get up and head to the gym. This is really GREAT b/c now I feel a responsibility to get her up and to the gym which will only help me. So the goal is Monday and Tuesday morning workouts. Even if it is 30 minutes on the TM it is better than not doing it at all. To be honest I have NEVER exercised on a vacation of any sort so this will be a first for me.

So, stay tuned on Wednesday when I return to my computer so I can fill you in on how I really did and if I stuck to my snack, no bread and no dessert plan and of course if I made it to the gym those two mornings.

Have a great weekend everyone! Keep the food clean and the workouts dirty!

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Tuesday night entertainment at it's BEST!

We had the wonderful opportunity to go see Sugarland and Brad Paisley in concert last night. I live near the Wal-Mart home offices and the annual shareholders meeting is held in town and they always bring in some big names for concerts. In the past few years they have let the outside public attend the concerts as well as Wal-Mart associates and shareholders. So I couldn't pass up this FREE concert. It was SO AWESOME!!! My husband was busy golfing with buddies and my Mom had another commitment so it was me, Chloe, Lizzie and my Dad. We had a GREAT time. So glad we went. We were way up high so the pictures aren't that great. I took some of them of the big screen and those turned out pretty good.

Chloe, Lizzie and Papa (my Dad) by Brad Paisley's semi:


Chloe with the stage in the background before the concert started.




Lizzie and her Papa.



Self portrait of Lizzie and I. Doesn't she have the sweetest face?


Chloe and her Papa.



This is how Chloe was most of the night just staring at the stage in awe.

This is Brad P. where he started out singing in the crowd.




Monday, June 1, 2009

Spinning my wheels

I feel like I am just spinning my wheels. I eat good for a few days and don't exercise then I exercise then I don't eat as good. Just a vicious cycle that is literally getting me NO WHERE!! Now, you might have read that I made it to my first goal a couple of weeks ago of getting below 150 and I did do that but still two weeks later I am at the same spot and my inches have not changed much since weighing 157.

For me, if the inches aren't going down then I am not using my time and energy wisely and that just isn't a good combination for me. If the scale goes down but pound after pound the pants still fit the same it just doesn't matter to me. I want those inches to decrease THEN I know I am truly getting smaller. Those are the times that the scale is really deceiving. Just b/c it goes down doesn't always mean you are getting smaller and if you aren't getting smaller than what is the point, when your goal is fat loss that is.

Of course just overall health is the main reason but I am long past that. For me this is a lifestyle but I have goals that go along with that principle and right now it is fat loss which in return means inch loss and fat loss on the scale in time.

At this point in my journey with an uncertain amount of pounds to lose (just not sure what weight I will be when I get to how I want to look) it takes BOTH EXERCISE AND CLEAN FOOD. CONSISTENT exercise and clean food that is! That is the bottom line. I know this but sometimes I have to re-focus and remind myself of it constantly. It just won't come off easy like we all want it too. I have to work hard for those things that I truly want and right now this is one of them.

So here is to being reminded and re-focusing yet ONCE AGAIN!!

I started off today good with an AM workout. I got up at 4:50 am this morning and made it to the gym about 5:23. My goal is to get there at 5:15 and workout one solid hour. I got in 47 minutes this morning.