After MUCH deep thought and consideration and I going back and forth in my mind I have decided to NOT do the bikini competition in Topeka, KS in 8 weeks. I realize it is only 8 weeks out but my heart is just not in it.
I worked so hard for 7 months and ate so SOLID and was so dedicated to my food and exercised on average 6 days a week for 28 weeks in a row and exercised 2 times a day for 3-4 days a week for about 20 of those weeks and honestly, my mind and my body are just not into it as I thought they were.
I am SO SUPER DUPER proud that I did the Chattanooga comp and there is a good chance down the road that I will do it again but for now it is not in the cards for me.
My mind is on having a baby and finding the balance and searching for the food control that I am still lacking and then having a healthy pregnancy.
The great thing is that I have had these thoughts of possibly not doing the competition for 2 weeks and I have still stuck to my bikini food plan and exercise schedule and that makes me feel so good. I haven't eaten anything off my plan for 3 weeks now. YAY!! I had a great moment both weekend evenings in which I showed a lot of food control and I was SO PROUD of myself. Saturday night we went to dinner for my BIL's birthday and he chose Olive Garden. I seeked out the best thing on the menu for me and it was the Venetian Apricot Chicken which is SO GOOD. So I had that and 2 servings of salad with no breadsticks and that has no pasta. The apricot chicken has 380 cals, 32 carbs and 4 grams of fat and it is mighty tasty. Then Sunday night we were at my in-laws and my MIL cooked cheese dip (my favorite) and beef enchiladas and fried okra AND cupcakes for dessert. I thought to myself "this is the first time in 3 weeks that you will eat off a bikini plan and you must have control." and I DID. I got myself a small plate and put a small serving of enchiladas and fried okra and chips and a ramekin of cheese dip and that was it. I even passed up on the cupcakes. WOW!! SO SO PROUD OF the decision that
I made last night. I can tell I have made the right decision b/c honestly I feel somewhat relieved.
My new goals are to just eat clean on a daily basis. If I want fruit with my oatmeal and then an apple for a snack then I am going to eat it. I will stay away from sugar unless I just feel like I can't pass something up and I will stay away from bread, pastas and most dairy too. For now I am not even planning to eat a cheat meal weekly, if something comes up that I want to eat that is off my clean eating plan then I will eat a controlled portion of it and if not then I will just keep on with my plan.I will workout a consistent 5 days a week doing morning workouts before work for 45-60 minutes. I do plan to keep up with the weights though and I can do that at home or do an occasional one at the gym.
I do want to lose about 5 pounds and mostly inches and I will just do that slowly over time. At this moment in time I feel good about where I am and where my head is at and I am happy with that.