Did I make you proud?

I realize this is my blog and I should be doing the writing but often I come across other wonderful things that people write and if I don't share it here then you will never get to read it and I don't want that. So I have to share this blog with you below. I think that often people that are embarking on this health/fitness journey to change their lives often just need to read/see one thing that will get them off the couch and to eating healthy food. You just never know what that one thing might be. My thought is that this blog below might just be the ticket for some people and could be the beginning of their "AHA, I have had enough of being how I am" moment.

This was written on facebook by a friend of my trainer, Corinne, from Phit-N-Phat. Carlene is a figure competitor and personal trainer and the mother of 3 kids. This is her site: http://www.mommysbody.com/

A friend of mine (Carlene) on Facebook wrote this and I thought it was important to share with PNP girls and future readers. Let's not ever forget the blessings we are given. USE them instead of finding excuses to avoid them.

I have been in good physical condition for most of my life. I think I can even say that I have been in peak physical condition – enough to rival any athlete – for most of my adult life. I have been so very, amazingly blessed to have a career in the health and fitness industry. It so happens that even my "hobby" is in health and fitness, through figure competing. As a matter of fact, most of the people that will read this will likely be “in the industry”; but in the best event, that it reaches some of those NOT in the fitness industry….know this is for you.

Since I work in the field of helping people get fit and healthy, I get asked many, many questions. But over the years, one question stands out above all others. The question is “How do you do it? How do you work, manage a home and 3 kids, AND find time to exercise?”

Many assume that I am in good shape BECAUSE I compete. While that would be a good enough reason, it isn’t so with me. I only compete because I stay in shape. Many assume it is for the aesthetic benefits. That too, should be reward enough. But the truth is, MY reasons, my truth as to why/how I do what I do goes much deeper. I seldom venture into conversation about my inner thoughts on why I stay fit, but since I get asked so often, I thought I would open up and share.

I actually did start out (like many other women “in the industry”) as a teenage girl with body image issues, which eventually lead to eating disorders. Thank goodness I did not struggle too long with it, before my totally in-tune mother caught on and put a big fat (pardon the pun) quietus on that whole scene. Many may think it harsh, but she plainly and flatly told me that I was NOT going to be a cheater. She told me that if I was not happy with myself, then I was to do something about it….the HARD way…the REAL way. She said starving and vomiting was the cheaters way and she sure as well was not going to stand for it. If I wanted something, I had to work for it. That week, she made sure that I went to check out the local gyms and pick one to join. My dad played taxi for me (at 15) to get me to and from the gym several nights a week and I really was hooked. I was fortunate that I started to develop an appreciation for my body at an early age. But my story does not end there.

Perhaps my appreciation gave way to what happened next, or perhaps it is my Christian beliefs (I like to think it a blend of the two) but I started having recurring dreams. In my dreams, it was my time to meet my maker. I have no idea if I had lived a long life or a short one, but in the end, when I got to Jesus, I was startled to find Him in a wheelchair (yes, I know it’s odd, but who can really explain their dreams? It always makes sense while you are IN the dream). Yes, Jesus was in a wheel chair. As I stood before him, and gazed down at Him, He looked me in the eye and He said:
“You may be surprised to see me this way, but let me explain. I absolutely had the option to be free of this handicap; I could have chosen to walk among you. Instead, I chose to give MY ability to walk to one of my children. I had to choose carefully, and I chose you. Please, tell me, what you have done with that gift?” All I could do was stare in shock, feeling abject and utterly unworthy!

This is a recurring dream for me. It started out with Jesus in a wheel chair, but at times, He had other afflictions. Sometimes, He has a bad heart, sometimes bad lungs, sometimes chronic pain. Yes, I know these are manifestations of my own mind, translated into my dreams and while I am sure they last only seconds, their impact lasts forever. I cannot help but always be mindful of the “gifts” I have been given. Yes, given. I didn’t earn them, I didn’t deserve them, yet I was given them.

I have no doubt I have MANY shortcomings in my life. I am certainly not professing that I do it all right. I am constantly seeking ways to improve. I am not trying to be like anyone else. I am not simply seeking a trophy on a stage…or your approval. I am seeking the approval of my maker; I am seeking a “well done” from my God.When I stand before Him at the end, and He asks me, I want to tell Him that each and every day I used my legs to carry me many miles, with no destination in mind – because they could. I worked my heart every day to make it stronger. I challenged my lungs on a regular basis only so they could be more efficient. I want to tell Him I fed my body the clean foods it needed for total system optimization and I want to tell Him I fed my soul with His words and the wonder of everything He created around me.

While many may pay me compliments on the physical appearance of my body…..or judge me for standing on a stage in a small bikini with my body on display (which can seem an odd reconciliation to my conservative, Christian beliefs) I am here to tell them all that my body & my health are my biggest tribute. They are my best testament to my Savior and those around me that I did not take my “gifts” for granted. When my time does come, whenever that may be, I want to stand before my Father, having not forsaken Him, look Him in the eye, and ask “Did I make you proud?”

Comments

Stacia said…
YOUR blog was the "I have had enough" moment for me!!! Maybe I need to guest blog on here :)
Mommy's Body said…
Hi Dawn, I am honored you wanted to share my post. You have done an amazing job and I am inspired by your success!! Best of luck to you in October!
In health,
Carlene

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